
ffles 




John Kcndrick Bangs 



LIBRARY 

Diversity of Californl 
IRVINE^ 




[See p. 107 



"'IT'S FINE, BUNNY,' SHE CRIED " 



Mrs. Raffles. 

Being the Adventures of 
An Amateur Crackswoman 

Narrated by 

Bunny 

Edited by 

John Kendrick Bangs 

-^ ^" 

Illustrated by 
Albert Levering 




New York and London 

Harper & Brothers Publishers 
1905 



PS 



Copyright, 1905, by HARPER & BROTHERS. 

jlll rifhts reserved. 
Published October, 1905. 



Contents 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I. THE ADVENTURE OF THE HERALD 

PERSONAL I 

II. THE ADVENTURE OF THE NEW- 
PORT VILLA 14 

III. THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. GAS- 

TER'S MAID 28 

IV. THE PEARL ROPE OF MRS. GUSH- 

INGTON-ANDREWS .... 42 
V. THE ADVENTURE OF THE STEEL 

BONDS 56 

VI. THE ADVENTURE OF THE FRESH- 
AIR FUND 69 

VII. THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. ROCK- 

ERBILT'S TIARA 84 

VIII. THE ADVENTURE OF THE CAR- 
NEGIE LIBRARY 99 

IX. THE ADVENTURE OF THE HOLD- 
UP 115 

X. THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. SHADD'S 

MUSICALS 132 

XI. THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. INN- 

ITT'S COOK 150 

XII. THE LAST ADVENTURE .... 165 
iii 



Illustrations 



"'ITS FINE, BUNNY, SHE CRIED Frontispiece 

"THIS i WOULD SELL TO THE SUF- 
FERING POOR" Facing p. 4 

"THE WHOLE CONTENTS AND THE 
PLATTER AS WELL FELL AT 
MY FEET" " 12 

"HER SLIGHT LITTLE FIGURE CON- 
VULSED WITH GRIEF" ... " 40 

"AND THEN THERE CAME A RIP- 
PING SOUND" " 52 

"l, OF COURSE, DID NOT TELL HEN- 
RIETTE OF EIGHT BEAUTIES I 
HAD KEPT OUT" " 54 

"'AFTER WHICH HE WILL COME TO 

NEWPORT'" " 62 

"MR. BOLIVAR WAS DULY IMPRESS- 
ED WITH THE EXTENT OF HEN- 
RIETTE'S FORTUNE" .... " 66 

ONE OF THE BENEFICIARIES AT 

PALM BEACH " 82 

V 



Illustrations 



IT WAS NOT ALWAYS EASY TO 

GET THE RIGHT LIGHT" . . Facing p. 90 

'ALL WAS AS HENRIETTE HAD 

FORETOLD" " 94 

' ' IF YOU WANTED A LAKE, MR. 

HIGGINBOTHAM, I '" ... " IIO 

'AS KEEN AND HIGH-HANDED A 
PERFORMANCE AS I EVER WIT- 
NESSED" " 124 

'ON HER WAY TO EARLY CHURCH 

I WAYLAID NORAH" ... " 162 
'HENRIETTE WAS TESTING THE 

FIFTY - THOUSAND - DOLLAR 

PIANO" " 172 

'MY MISERY IS DEEP BUT I AM 

BUOYED UP BY ONE GREAT 

HOPE" " 178 



Mrs. Raffles 



Mrs. Raffles 



THE ADVENTURE OF THE HERALD 
PERSONAL 

THAT I was in a hard case is best 
attested by the fact that when 
I had paid for my Sunday Herald 
there was left in my purse just one 
tuppence - ha'penny stamp and two 
copper cents, one dated 1873, the 
other 1894. The mere incident that 
at this .hour eighteen months later 
I can recall the dates of these coins 
should be proof, if any were needed, of 
the importance of the coppers in my 
eyes, and therefore of the relative 
scarcity of funds in my possession. 



Mrs. Raffles 

Raffles was dead killed as you may 
remember at the battle of Spion Kop 
and I, his companion, who had 
never known want while his deft 
fingers were able to carry out the 
plans of that insinuating and mar- 
vellous mind of his, was now, in the 
vernacular of the American, up against 
it. I had come to the United States, 
not because I had any liking for that 
country or its people, who, to tell the 
truth, are too sharp for an ordinary 
burglar like myself, but because with 
the war at an end I had to go some- 
where, and English soil was not safely 
to be trod by one who was required 
for professional reasons to evade the 
eagle eye of Scotland Yard until the 
Statute of Limitations began to have 
some bearing upon his case. That 
last affair of Raffles and mine, where- 
in we had successfully got away with 
the diamond stomacher of the duch- 
ess of Herringdale, was still a live 
matter in British detective circles, and 



The Herald Personal 

the very audacity of the crime had 
definitely fastened the responsibility 
for it upon our shoulders. Hence it 
was America for me, where one could 
be as English as one pleased with- 
out being subject to the laws of 
his Majesty, King Edward VIJ., 
of Great Britain and Ireland and 
sundry other possessions upon which 
the sun rarely if ever sets. For 
two years I had led a precarious 
existence, not finding in the land of 
silk and money quite as many of 
those opportunities to add to the sum 
of my prosperity as the American 
War Correspondent I had met in the 
Transvaal led me to expect. Indeed, 
after six months of successful lectur- 
ing on the subject of the Boers before 
various lyceums in the country, I was 
reduced to a state of penury which 
actually drove me to thievery of the 
pettiest and most vulgar sort. There 
was little in the way of mean theft 
that I did not commit. During the 
3 



Mrs. Raffles 

coal famine, for instance, every day 
passing the coal-yards to and fro, I 
would appropriate a single piece of 
the precious anthracite until I had 
come into possession of a scuttleful, 
and this I would sell to the suffering 
poor at prices varying from three 
shillings to two dollars and a half 
a precarious living indeed. The only 
respite I received for six months was 
in the rape of the hansom-cab, which 
I successfully carried through one 
bitter cold night in January. I hired 
the vehicle at Madison Square and 
drove to a small tavern on the Boston 
Post Road, where the icy cold of the 
day gave me an excuse for getting 
my cabby drunk in the guise of 
kindness. Him safely disposed of in 
a drunken stupor, I drove his jaded 
steed back to town, earned fifteen 
dollars with him before daybreak, and 
then, leaving the cab in the Central 
Park, sold the horse for eighteen 
dollars to a snow-removal contractor 



The Herald Personal 

over on the East Side. It was humil- 
iating to me, a gentleman born, and 
a partner of so illustrious a person as 
the late A. J. Raffles, to have to stoop 
to such miserable doings to keep body 
and soul together, but I was forced to 
confess that, whatever Raffles had 
left to me in the way of example, I 
was not his equal either in the con- 
ception of crime or in the nerve to 
carry a great enterprise through. My 
biggest coups had a way of failing at 
their very beginning which was 
about the only blessing I enjoyed, 
since none of them progressed far 
enough to imperil my freedom, and, 
lacking confederates, I was of course 
unable to carry through the profitable 
series of abductions in the world of 
High Finance that I had contem- 
plated. Hence my misfortunes, and 
now on this beautiful Sunday morn- 
ing, penniless but for the coppers and 
the postage - stamp, with no break- 
fast in sight, and, fortunately enough, 
5 



Mrs. Raffles 

not even an appetite, I turned to my 
morning paper for my solace. 

Running my eye up and down the 
personal column, which has for years 
been my favorite reading of Sunday 
mornings, I found the usual assort- 
ment of matrimonial enterprises re- 
corded: pathetic appeals from P. D. 
to meet Q. on the corner of Twenty- 
third Street at three; imploring re- 
quests from J. A. K. to return at once 
to "His Only Mother," who promises 
to ask no questions ; and finally could 
I believe my eyes now riveted upon the 
word ? my own sobriquet, printed as 
boldly and as plainly as though I were 
some patent cure for all known human 
ailments. It seemed incredible, but 
there it was beyond all peradventure : 

"WANTED. A Butler. BUNNY 
preferred. Apply to Mrs. A. J. Van 
Raffles, Bolivar Lodge, Newport, R.I." 

To whom could that refer if not 
to myself, and what could it mean? 
6 



The Herald Personal 

Who was this Mrs. A. J. Van Raffles? 
-a name so like that of my dead friend 
that it seemed almost identical. My 
curiosity was roused to concert pitch. 
If this strange advertiser should be 
But no, she would not send for me 
after that stormy interview in which 
she cast me over to take the hand 
of Raffles: the brilliant, fascinating 
Raffles, who would have won his Isa- 
bella from Ferdinand, Chloe from her 
Cory don, Pierrette from Pierrot ay, 
even Heloise from Abelard. I never 
could find it in my heart to blame 
Henriette for losing her heart to him, 
even though she had already promised 
it to me, for I myself could not resist 
the fascination of the man at whose 
side I faithfully worked even after 
he had stolen from me this dearest 
treasure of my heart. And yet who 
else could it be if not the lovely 
Henriette? Surely the combination 
of Raffles, with or without the Van, 
and Bunny was not so usual as to 
7 



Mrs. Raffles 

permit of so remarkable a coinci- 
dence. 

"I will go to Newport at once," I 
cried, rising and pacing the floor 
excitedly, for I had many times, in 
cursing my loneliness, dreamed of 
Henriette, and had oftener and oftener 
of late found myself wondering what 
had become of her, and then the 
helplessness of my position burst 
upon me with full force. How should 
I, the penniless wanderer in New 
York, get to Bolivar Lodge at New- 
port? It takes money in this sordid 
country to get about, even as it does 
in Britain in sorry truth, things in 
detail differ little whether one lives 
under a king or a president; poverty 
is quite as hard to bear, and free 
passes on the railroad are just as 
scarce. 

"Curses on these plutocrats!" I 

muttered, as I thought of the railway 

directors rolling in wealth, running 

trains filled with empty seats to and 

8 



The Herald Personal 

from the spot that might contain my 
fortune, and I unable to avail myself 
of them for the lack of a paltry dollar 
or two. But suddenly the thought 
flashed over me telegraph collect. 
If it is she, she will respond at once. 
And so it was that an hour later 
the following message was ticked over 
the wires: 

"Personal to-day's Herald received. 
Telegraph railway fare and I will go to 
you instantly. (Signed), BUNNY." 

For three mortal hours I paced the 
streets feverishly awaiting the reply, 
and at two-thirty it came, discon- 
certing enough in all conscience: 

" If you are not a bogus Bunny you will 
know how to raise the cash. If you are a 
bogus Bunny I don't want you." 

It was simple, direct, and convinc- 
ing, and my heart fluttered like the 
drum -beat's morning call to action 
the moment I read it. 
9 



Mrs. Raffles 

" By Jove!" I cried. " The woman 
is right, of course. It must be Hen- 
riette, and I'll go to her if I have to 
rob a nickel-in-the-slot machine." 

It was as of old. Faint-hearted I 
always was until some one gave me 
a bit of encouragement. A word of 
praise or cheer from Raffles in the old 
days and I was ready to batter down 
Gibraltar, a bit of discouragement and 
a rag was armor -plate beside me. 

'"If you are not a bogus Bunny 
you will know,' " I read, spreading the 
message out before me. " That is to 
say, she believes that if I am really my- 
self I can surmount the insurmount- 
able. Gad! I'll do it." And I set 
off hot-foot up Fifth Avenue, hoping 
to discover, or by cogitation in the 
balmy air of the spring-time after- 
noon, to conceive of some plan to re- 
lieve my necessities. But, somehow or 
other, it wouldn't come. There were 
no pockets about to be picked in the 
ordinary way. I hadn't the fare for 

10 



The Herald Personal 

a ride on the surface or elevated cars, 
where I might have found an oppor- 
tunity to relieve some traveller of his 
purse, and as for snatching such a 
thing from some shopper, it was Sun- 
day and the women who would have 
been an easy prey on a bargain-day 
carried neither purse nor side-bag 
with them. I was in despair, and 
then the pealing bells of St. Jondy's, 
the spiritual home of the multi-mill- 
ionaires of New York, rang out the 
call to afternoon service. It was like 
an invitation the way was clear. 
My plan was laid in an instant, and 
it worked beyond my most hopeful 
anticipations. Entering the church, 
I was ushered to a pew about half- 
way up the centre aisle despite my 
poverty, I had managed to keep my- 
self always well-groomed, and no one 
would have guessed, to look at my 
faultless frock-coat and neatly creased 
trousers, at my finely gloved hand and 
polished top-hat, that my pockets held 
ii 



Mrs. Raffles 

scarcely a brass farthing. The service ' 
proceeded. A good sermon on the 
Vanity of Riches found lodgment in 
my ears, and then the supreme mo- 
ment came. The collection-plate was 
passed, and, gripping my two pennies 
in my hand, I made as if to place them 
in the salver, but with studied awk- 
wardness I knocked the alms-platter 
from the hands of the gentleman who 
passed it. The whole contents and 
the platter as well fell at my feet, and 
from my lips in reverent whispers 
poured forth no end of most abject 
apologies. Of course I assisted in 
recovering the fallen bills and coins, 
and in less time than it takes to tell 
it the vestryman was proceeding on 
his way up the aisle, gathering in the 
contributions from other generously 
disposed persons as he went, as un- 
consciously as though the contre- 
temps had never occurred, and hap- 
pily unaware that out of the moneys 
cast to the floor by my awkward act 

12 




THE WHOLE CONTENTS AND THE PLATTER AS WELL 
FELL AT MY FEET" 



The Herald Personal 

two yellow-backed fifty-dollar bills, 
five half-dollars, and a dime remained 
behind under the hassock at my feet, 
whither I had managed to push them 
with my toe while offering my apol- 
ogies. 

An hour later, having dined hearti- 
ly at Delsherrico's, I was comfortably 
napping in a Pullman car on my way 
to the Social Capital of the United 
States. 



II 



THE ADVENTURE OF THE NEWPORT 
VILLA 

HPHERE is little need for me to 
I describe in detail the story of 
my railway journey from New York to 
Newport. I was uneventful and un- 
productive save as to the latter end of 
it, when, on the arrival of the train at 
Wickford, observing that the pros- 
perous-looking gentleman bound for 
Boston who occupied the seat next 
mine in the Pullman car was sleeping 
soundly, I exchanged my well-worn 
covert coat for his richly made, sable- 
lined surtout, and made off as well 
with his suit-case on the chance of its 
holding something that might later 
serve some one of my many purposes. 
14 



The Newport Villa 

I mention this in passing only because 
the suit-case, containing as it did all 
the essential features of a gentleman's 
evening attire, even to three superb 
pearl studs in the bosom of an im- 
maculately white shirt, all of them, 
marvellously enough, as perfectly fit- 
ting as though they had been made 
for me, with a hundred unregistered 
first - mortgage bonds of the United 
States Steel Company of which se- 
curities there will be more anon 
enabled me later to appear before 
Mrs. Van Raffles in a guise so pros- 
perous as to win an immediate re- 
newal of her favor. 

" We shall be almost as great a com- 
bination as the original Bunny," she 
cried, enthusiastically, when I told her 
of this coup. "With my brains and 
your blind luck nothing can stop 
us." 

My own feelings as I drove up to 
Bolivar Lodge were mixed. I still 
loved Henriette madly, but the con- 
15 



Mrs. Raffles 

trast between her present luxury and 
my recent misery grated harshly upon 
me. I could not rid myself of the 
notion that Raffles had told her of 
the secret hiding-place of the diamond 
stomacher of the duchess of Herring- 
dale, and that she had appropriated 
to her own use all the proceeds of its 
sale, leaving me, who had risked my 
liberty to obtain it, without a penny's 
worth of dividend for my pains. It 
did not seem quite a level thing to do, 
and I must confess that I greeted the 
lady in a reproachful spirit. It was, 
indeed, she, and more radiantly beau- 
tiful than ever a trifle thinner per- 
haps, and her eyes more coldly pierc- 
ing than seductively winning as of 
yore, but still Henriette whom I had 
once so madly loved and who had 
jilted me for a better man. 

" Dear old Bunny!" she murmured, 

holding out both hands in welcome. 

"Just to think that after all these 

years and in a strange land and under 

16 



The Newport Villa 

such circumstances we should meet 
again!" 

"It is strange," said I, my eye 
roving about the drawing-room, which 
from the point of view of its appoint- 
ments and decoration was about the 
richest thing I had ever seen either 
by light of day or in the mysterious 
glimpses one gets with a dark lantern 
of the houses of the moneyed classes. 
"It seems more than strange," I 
added, significantly, "to see you sur- 
rounded by such luxury. A so-called 
lodge built of the finest grade of 
Italian marble; gardens fit for the 
palace of a king; a retinue of ser- 
vants such as one scarcely finds on 
the ducal estates of the proudest fam- 
ilies of England and a mansion that is 
furnished with treasures of art, anyone 
of which is worth a queen's ransom." 

"I do not wonder you are sur- 
prised," she replied, looking about the 
room with a smile of satisfaction that 
did little to soothe my growing wrath. 
17 



Mrs. Raffles 

"It certainly leaves room for ex- 
planation," I retorted, coldly. "Of 
course, if Raffles told you where the 
Herringdale jewels were hid and you 
have disposed of them, some of all 
this could be accounted for ; but what 
of me ? Did it ever occur to you that 
I was entitled to some part of the 
swag?" 

"Oh, you poor, suspicious old 
Bunny," she rippled. "Haven't I 
sent for you to give you some share of 
this although truly you don't de- 
serve it, for this is all mine. I haven't 
any more notion what became, of the 
Herringdale jewels than the duchess 
of Herringdale herself." 

"What?" I cried. "Then these 
surroundings 

" Are self- furnishing," she said, with 
a merry little laugh, " and all through 
a p^an of my own, Bunny. This 
house, as you may not be aware, is the 
late residence of Mr. and Mrs. Con- 
stant Scrappe 

18 



The Newport Villa 

"Who are suing each other for 
divorce," I put in, for I knew of the 
Constant Scrappes in social life, as 
who did not, since a good third of 
the society items of the day concerned 
themselves with the matrimonial dif- 
ficulties of this notable couple. 

" Precisely," said Henriette. " Now 
Mrs. Scrappe is in South Dakota es- 
tablishing a residence, and Colonel 
Scrappe is at Monte Carlo circulating 
his money with the aid of a wheel and 
a small ball. Bolivar Lodge, with its 
fine collection of old furniture, its 
splendid jades, its marvellous Orient- 
al potteries, paintings, and innumer- 
able small silver articles, is left here at 
Newport and for rent. What more 
natural, dear, than that I, needing a 
residence whose occupancy would in 
itself be an assurance of my social 
position, should snap it up with an 
eagerness which in this Newport at- 
mosphere amounted nearly to a be- 
trayal of plebeian origin?" 
19 



Mrs. Raffles 

"But it must cost a fortune!" I 
cried, gazing about me at the splen- 
dors of the room, which even to a 
cursory inspection revealed them- 
selves as of priceless value. "That 
cloisonne jar over by the fireplace is 
worth two hundred pounds alone." 

"That is just the reason why I 
wanted this particular house, Bunny. 
It is also why I need your assistance 
in maintaining it," Mrs. Raffles re- 
turned. 

"Woman is ever a mystery," I re- 
sponded, with a harsh laugh. "Why 
in Heaven's name you think I can 
help you to pay your rent " 

" It is only twenty-five hundred 
dollars a month, Bunny," she said. 

My answer was a roar of derisive 
laughter. 

"Hear her!" I cried, addressing the 
empty air. "Only twenty-five hun- 
dred dollars a month ! Why, my dear 
Henriette, if it were twenty-five hun- 
dred clam-shells a century I couldn't 
20 



The Newport Villa 

help you pay a day's rental, I am 
that strapped. Until this afternoon I 
hadn't seen thirty cents all at once for 
nigh on to six months. I have been 
so poor that I've had to take my 
morning coffee at midnight from the 
coffee-wagons of the New York, Bos- 
ton, and Chicago sporting papers. In 
eight months I have not tasted a table - 
d'hote dinner that an expert would 
value at fifteen cents net, and yet you 
ask me to help you pay twenty-five 
hundred dollars a month rent for a 
Newport palace ! You must be mad. ' ' 
"You are the same loquacious old 
Bunny that you used to be," said Mrs. 
Raffles, sharply, yet with a touch of 
affection in her voice. "You can't 
keep your trap shut for a second, can 
you? Do you know, Bunny, what 
dear old A. J. said to me just before 
he went to South Africa ? It was that 
if you were as devoted to business 
as you were to words you'd be a 
wonder. His exact remark was that 

21 



Mrs. Raffles 

we would both have to look out for 
you for fear you would queer the 
whole business. Raffles estimated 
that your habit of writing-up full ac- 
counts of his various burglaries for 
the London magazines had made the 
risks one hundred per cent, bigger and 
the available swag a thousand per 
cent, harder to get hold of. ' Harry,' 
said he the night before he sailed, ' if 
I die over in the Transvaal and you 
decide to continue the business, get 
along as long as you can without a 
press-agent. If you go on the stage, 
surround yourself with 'em, but in the 
burglary trade they are a nuisance." 

My answer was a sulky shrug of the 
shoulders. 

" You haven't given me a chance to 
explain how you are to help me. I 
don't ask you for money, Bunny. 
Four dollars' worth of obedience is all 
I want," she continued. "The port- 
able property in this mansion is worth 
about half a million dollars, my lad, 

22 



The Newport Villa 

and I want you to be well, my 
official porter. I took immediate 
possession of this house, and my first 
month's rent was paid with the pro- 
ceeds of a sale of three old bedsteads 
I found on the top floor, six pieces of 
Sevres china from the southeast bed- 
room on the floor above this, and a 
Satsuma vase which I discovered in a 
hall-closet on the third floor." 

A light began to dawn on me. 

"Before coming here I eked out a 
miserable existence in New York as 
buyer for an antique dealer on Fourth 
Avenue," she explained. " He thinks 
I am still working for him, travelling 
about the country in search of bar- 
gains in high-boys, mahogany desks, 
antique tables, wardrobes, bedsteads 
in short, valuable junk generally. 
Now do you see?" 

"As Mrs. Raffles or Van Raffles, 
as you have it now?" I demanded. 

"Oh, Bunny,Bunny, Bunny! What 
a stupid you are! Never! As Miss 
2 3 



Mrs. Raffles 

Pratt-Robinson," she replied. " From 
this I earn fifteen dollars a week. The 
sources of the material I send him 
well do you see now, Bunny?" 

"It is growing clearer," said I. 
"You contemplate paying the rent 
of this house with its contents, is 
that it?" 

"What beautiful intelligence you 
have, Bunny!" she laughed, airily. 
" You know a hawk from a hand-saw. 
Nobody can pass a motor-car off on 
you for a horse, can they, Bunny dear ? 
Not while you have that eagle eye of 
yours wide open. Yes, sir. That is 
the scheme. / am going to pay the 
rental of this mansion with its contents. 
Half a million dollars' worth of con- 
tents means how long at twenty-five 
hundred dollars a month? Eh?" 

"Gad! Henriette," I cried. "You 
are worthy of Raffles, I swear it. You 
can be easy about your rent for six- 
teen years." 

"That is about the size of it, as 
24 



The Newport Villa 

these Newport people have it," said 
Mrs. Raffles, beaming upon me. 

"I'm still in the dark as to where I 
come in," said I. 

"Promise to obey my directions 
implicitly," said Henriette "and you 
will receive your share of the booty." 

"Henriette ' I cried, passionate- 
ly, seizing her hand. 

"No Bunny not now," she re- 
monstrated, gently. "This is no 
time for sentiment. Just promise to 
obey, the love and honor business 
may come later." 

"I will," said I. 

"Well, then," she resumed, her 
color mounting high, and speaking 
rapidly, "you are to return at once 
to New York, taking with you three 
trunks which I have already packed, 
containing one of the most beautiful 
collections of jade ornaments that has 
ever been gathered together. You will 
rent a furnished apartment in some 
aristocratic quarter. Spread these 

3 25 



Mrs. Raffles 

articles throughout your rooms as 
though you were a connoisseur, and 
on Thursday next when Mr. Harold 
Van Gilt calls upon you to see your 
collection you will sell it to him for 
not less than eight thousand dollars." 

" Aha!" said I. " I see the scheme." 

"This you will immediately remit 
to me here," she continued, excitedly. 
"Mr. Van Gilt will pay cash." 

I laughed. "Why eight thou- 
sand?" I demanded. "Are you liv- 
ing beyond your ah income?" 

"No," she answered, "but next 
month's rent is due Tuesday, and 
I owe my servants and tradesmen 
twenty-five hundred dollars more." 

"Even then there will be three 
thousand dollars over," I put in. 

"True, Bunny, true. But I shall 
need it all, dear. I am invited to the 
P. J. D. Gasters on Sunday afternoon 
to play bridge," Henriette explained. 
"We must prepare for emergencies." 

I returned to New York on the 
26 



The Newport Villa 

boat that night, and by Wednesday 
was safely ensconced in very beauti- 
fully furnished bachelor quarters near 
Gramercy Square, where on Thurs- 
day Mr. Harold Van Gilt called to 
see my collection of jades which I 
was selling because of a contemplated 
five-year journey into the East. On 
Friday Mr. Van Gilt took possession 
of the collection, and that night a 
check for eight thousand dollars went 
to Mrs. Van Raffles at Newport. In- 
cidentally, I passed two thousand 
dollars to my own credit. As I fig- 
ured it out, if Van Gilt was willing to 
pay ten thousand dollars for the stuff, 
and Henriette was willing to take 
eight thousand dollars for it, nobody 
was the loser by my pocketing two 
thousand dollars unless, perhaps, it 
was Mr. and Mrs. Constant Scrappe 
who owned the goods. But that was 
none of my affair. I played straight 
with the others, and that was all there 
was to it as far as I was concerned. 
27 



Ill 

THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. CASTER'S 
MAID 

TWO days after my bargain with Mr. 
Harold Van Gilt, in which he ac- 
quired possession of the Scrappe jades 
and Mrs. Van Raffles and I shared the 
proceeds of the ten thousand dollars 
check, I was installed at Bolivar Lodge 
as head-butler and steward, my sala- 
ry to consist of what I could make 
out of it on the side, plus ten per cent, 
of the winnings of my mistress. It 
was not long before I discovered that 
the job was a lucrative one. From 
various tradesmen of the town I re- 
ceived presents of no little value in the 
form sometimes of diamond scarf-pins, 
gold link sleeve-buttons, cases of fine 
28 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

wines for my own use, and in one or 
two instances checks of substantial 
value. There was also what was call- 
ed a steward's rebate on the monthly 
bills, which in circles where lavish 
entertainment is the order of the day 
amounted to a tidy little income in 
itself. My only embarrassment lay 
in the contact into which I was nec- 
essarily brought with other butlers, 
with whom I was perforce required 
to associate. This went very much 
against the grain at first, for, although 
I am scarcely more than a thief after 
all, I am an artistic one, and still retain 
the prejudice against inferior associa- 
tions which an English gentleman 
whatever the vicissitudes of his career 
can never quite rid himself of. I had 
to join their club an exclusive or- 
ganization of butlers and "gentle- 
men's gentlemen" otherwise valets 
and in order to quiet all suspicion 
of my real status in the Van Raffles 
household I was compelled to act the 
29 



Mrs. Raffles 

part in a fashion which revolted me. 
Otherwise the position was pleasant, 
and, as I have intimated, more than 
lucrative. 

It did not take me many days to 
discover that Henriette was a worthy 
successor to her late husband. Few 
opportunities for personal profit es- 
caped her eye, and I was able to ob- 
serve as time went on and I noted the 
accumulation of spoons, forks, nut- 
crackers, and gimcracks generally that 
she brought home with her after her 
calls upon or dinners with ladies of 
fashion that she had that quality of 
true genius which never overlooks the 
smallest details. 

The first big coup after my arrival, 
as the result of her genius, was in the 
affair of Mrs. Gaster's maid. Henri- 
ette had been to a bridge afternoon 
at Mrs. Gaster's and upon her return 
manifested an extraordinary degree of 
excitement. Her color was high, and 
when she spoke her voice was tremu- 
30 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

lous. Her disturbed condition was so 
evident that my heart sank into my 
boots, for in our business nerve is a 
sine qua non of success, and it looked 
to me as if Henriette was losing hers. 
She has probably lost at cards to-day, 
I thought, and it has affected her 
usual calmness. I must do some- 
thing to warn her against this mo- 
mentary weakness. With this idea 
in mind, when the opportunity pre- 
sented itself later I spoke. 

" You lost at bridge to-day, Henri- 
ette," I said. 

"Yes," she replied. "Twenty-five 
hundred dollars in two hours. How 
did you guess?" 

" By your manner," said I. " You 
are as nervous as a young girl at 
a commencement celebration. This 
won't do, Henriette. Nerves will 
prove your ruin, and if you can't 
stand your losses at bridge, what will 
you do in the face of the greater crisis 
which in our profession is likely to 



Mrs. Raffles 

confront us in the shape of an un- 
expected visit of police at any mo- 
ment?" 

Her answer was a ringing laugh. 

"You absurd old rabbit," she 
murmured. "As if I cared about 
my losses at bridge ! Why, my dear 
Bunny, I lost that money on purpose. 
You don't suppose that I am going to 
risk my popularity with these New- 
port ladies by winning, do you ? Not 
I, my boy. I plan too far ahead for 
that. For the good of our cause it 
is my task to lose steadily and 
with good grace. This establishes my 
credit, proves my amiability, and 
confirms my popularity." 

" But you are very much excited 
by something, Henriette," said I. 
" You cannot deny that." 

" I don't but it is the prospect of 
future gain, not the reality of pres- 
ent losses, that has taken me off my 
poise, ' ' she said. " Whom do you sup- 
pose I saw at Mrs. Gaster's to-day?" 
3 2 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

"No detectives, I hope," I replied, 
paling at the thought. 

"No, sir," she laughed. "Mrs. 
Gaster's maid. We must get her, 
Bunny." 

"Oh, tush!" I ejaculated. "All 
this powwow over another woman's 
maid!" 

"You don't understand," said 
Henriette. " It wasn't the maid so 
much as the woman that startled 
me, Bunny. You can't guess who 
she was." 

"How should I?" I demanded. 

"She was Fiametta de Belleville, 
one of the most expert hands in our 
business. Poor old Raffles used to 
say that she diminished his income a 
good ten thousand pounds a year by 
getting in her fine work ahead of his," 
explained Henriette. " He pointed 
her out to me in Piccadilly once and I 
have never forgotten her face." 

" I hope she did not recognize you," 
I observed. 

33 



Mrs. Raffles 

"No, indeed she never saw me 
before, so how could she? But I 
knew her the minute she took my 
cloak," said Henriette. "She's dyed 
her hair, but her eyes were the same 
as ever, and that peculiar twist of the 
lip that Raffles had spoken of as 
constituting one of her fascinations 
remained unchanged. Moreover, just 
to prove myself right, I left my lace 
handkerchief and a five hundred dol- 
lar bill in the cloak pocket. When I 
got the cloak back both were gone. 
Oh, she's Fiametta de Belleville all 
right, and we must get her." 

"What for to rob you?" 

"No," returned Henrietta, "rather 
that we but there, there, Bunny, I'll 
manage this little thing myself. It's 
a trifle too subtle for a man's intel- 
lect especially when that man is 
you." 

" What do you suppose she is doing 
here?" I asked. 

" You silly boy," laughed Henriette. 
34 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

" Doing? Why, Mrs. Gaster, of course. 
She is after the Gaster jewels." 

" Humph!" I said, gloomily. "That 
cuts us out, doesn't it?" 

"Does it?" asked Henriette, enig- 
matically. 

It was about ten weeks later that 
the newspapers of the whole country 
were ringing with the startling news 
of the mysterious disappearance of 
Mrs. Caster's jewels. The lady had 
been robbed of three hundred and 
sixty-eight thousand dollars worth of 
gems, and there was apparently no 
clew even to the thief. Henriette and 
I, of course, knew that Fiametta de 
Belleville had accomplished her mis- 
sion, but apparently no one else knew 
it. True, she had been accused, and 
had been subjected to a most rigid 
examination by the Newport police 
and the New York Central Office, but 
no proof of any kind establishing her 
guilt could be adduced, and after a 
week of suspicion she was to all in- 
35 



Mrs. Raffles 

tents and purposes relieved of all 
odium. 

"She'll skip now," said I. 

"Not she," said Henriette. "To 
disappear now would be a confession 
of guilt. If Fiametta de Belleville is 
the woman I take her for she'll stay 
right here as if nothing had happened, 
but of course not at Mrs. Gaster's." 

"Where then?" I asked. 

"With Mrs. A. J. Van Raffles," re- 
plied Henriette. "The fact is," she 
added, " I have already engaged her. 
She has acted her part well, and has 
seemed so prostrated by the unjust 
suspicion of the world that even Mrs. 
Gaster is disturbed over her condi- 
tion. She has asked her to remain, 
but Fiametta has refused. ' I couldn't, 
madam,' she said when Mrs. Gaster 
asked her to stay. ' You have accused 
me of a fearful crime a crime of 
which I am innocent and I'd rath- 
er work in a factory, or become a 
shop-girl in a department store, than 
36 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

stay longer in a house where such 
painful things have happened.' Re- 
sult, next Tuesday Fiametta de Belle- 
ville comes to me as my maid." 

"Well, Henriette," said I, "I pre- 
sume you know your own business, 
but why you lay yourself open to 
being robbed yourself and to having 
the profits of your own business 
diminished I can't see. Please re- 
member that I warned you against 
this foolish act." 

"All right, Bunny, I'll remember," 
smiled Mrs. Van Raffles, and there the 
matter was dropped for the moment. 

The following Tuesday Fiametta de 
Belleville was installed in the Van 
Raffles household as the maid of Mrs. 
A. J. Van Raffles. To her eagle eye it 
was another promising field for profit, 
for Henriette had spared neither pains 
nor money to impress Fiametta with 
the idea that next to Mrs. Gaster she 
was about as lavish and financially 
capable a householder as could be 
37 



Mrs. Raffles 

found in the Social Capital of the 
United States. As for me, I was the 
picture of gloom. The woman's pres- 
ence in our household could not be 
but a source of danger to our peace 
of mind as well as to our profits, and 
for the life of me I could not see why 
Henriette should want her there. But 
I was not long in finding out. 

A week after Fiametta's arrival 
Mrs. Raffles rang hurriedly for me. 

"Yes, madam," I said, responding 
immediately to her call. 

" Bunny," she said, her hand trem- 
bling a little, "the hour for action has 
arrived. I have just sent Fiametta 
on an errand to Providence. She will 
be gone three hours." 

"Yes!" said I. "What of it?" 

" I want you during her absence to 
go with me to her room " 

The situation began to dawn on 
me. 

" Yes!" I cried, breathlessly. " And 
search her trunks?" 
38 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

" No, Bunny, no the eaves," whis- 
pered Henriette. " I gave her that 
room in the wing because it has so 
many odd cubby -holes where she 
could conceal things. I am inclined 
to think well, the moment she leaves 
the city let me know. Follow her to 
the station, and don't return till you 
know she is safely out of town and 
on her way to Providence. Then our 
turn will come." 

Oh, that woman! If I had not 
adored her before I but enough. 
This is no place for sentiment. The 
story is the thing, and I must tell it 
briefly. 

I followed out Henriette 's instruc- 
tions to the letter, and an hour later 
returned with the information that 
Fiametta was, indeed, safely on her 
way. 

"Good," said Mrs. Raffles. "And 
now, Bunny, for the Gaster jewels." 

Mounting the stairs rapidly, taking 
care, of course, that there were none 
39 



Mrs. Raffles 

of the other servants about to spy 
upon us, we came to the maid's room. 
Everything in it betokened a high 
mind and a good character. There 
were religious pictures upon the bu- 
reau, prayer-books, and some volumes 
of essays of a spiritual nature were 
scattered about nothing was there 
to indicate that the occupant was 
anything but a simple, sweet child of 
innocence except 

Well, Henri ette was right ex- 
cept the Gaster jewels. Even as my 
mistress had suspected, they were 
cached under the eaves, snuggled close 
against the huge dormer - window 
looking out upon the gardens ; laid by 
for a convenient moment to get them 
out of Newport, and then back to 
England for Fiametta. And what a 
gorgeous collection they were! Dog- 
collars of diamonds, yards of pearl 
rope, necklaces of rubies of the most 
lustrous color and of the size of 
pigeons' eggs, rings, brooches, tiaras 
40 




"HER SLIGHT LITTLE FIGURE CONVULSED WITH 
GRIEF" 



Mrs. Caster's Maid 

everything in the way of jewelled 
ornament the soul of woman could 
desire all packed closely away in 
a tin box that I now remembered 
Fiametta had brought with her in her 
hand the day of her arrival. And now 
all these things were ours Henriette's 
and mine without our having had to 
stir out-of-doors to get them. An hour 
later they were in the safety-deposit 
vault of Mrs. A. J. Van Raffles in the 
sturdy cellars of the Tiverton Trust 
Company, as secure against intrusion 
as though they were locked in the 
heart of Gibraltar itself. 

And Fiametta ? Well a week later 
she left Newport suddenly, her eyes 
red with weeping and her slight little 
figure convulsed with grief. Her fa- 
vorite aunt had just died, she said, 
and she was going back to England 
to bury her. 



IV 



THE PEARL ROPE OP MRS. GUSHING- 
TON-ANDREWS 

BUNNY," said Heitfiette one 
morning, shortly after we had 
come into possession of the Gaster 
jewels, " how is your nerve ? Are you 
ready for a coup requiring a lot 
of it?" 

'Well," I replied, pluming myself 
a bit, " I don't wish to boast, Hen- 
riette, but I think it is pretty good. 
I managed to raise twenty - seven 
hundred dollars on my own account 
by the use of it last night." 

"Indeed?" said Henriette, with a 

slight frown. "How, Bunny? You 

know you are likely to complicate 

matters for all of us if you work on 

42 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

the side. What, pray, did you do 
last night?" 

And then I unfolded to her the in- 
cidents of the night before when, by 
assuming at a moment's notice the 
position of valet to young Robertson 
de Pelt, the frisky young favorite of 
the inner set, I had relieved that high- 
flying young bachelor of fifteen hun- 
dred dollars*-in cash and some twelve 
hundred dollars worth of jewels as well. 

" I was spending the evening at the 
Gentlemen's Gentlemen's Club," I 
explained, " when word came over the 
telephone to Digby, Mr. de Pelt's 
valet, that Mr. de Pelt was at the 
Rockerbilts' and in no condition to go 
home alone. It happened that it was 
I who took the message, and observ- 
ing that Digby was engaged in a game 
of billiards, and likely to remain so 
for some time to come, I decided to go 
after the gentleman myself without 
saying anything to Digby about it. 
Muffling myself up so that no one 
43 



Mrs. Raffles 

could recognize me, I hired a cab and 
drove out to the Rockerbilt mansion, 
sent in word that Mr. de Pelt's man 
was waiting for him, and in ten 
minutes had the young gentleman in 
my possession. I took him to his 
apartment, dismissed the cab, and, 
letting ourselves into his room with 
his own latch-key, put him to bed. 
His clothes I took, as a well-ordered 
valet should, from his bed-chamber 
into an adjoining room, where, after 
removing the contents of his pockets, 
I hung them neatly over a chair and 
departed, taking with me, of course, 
everything of value the young gen- 
tleman had about him, even down 
to the two brilliant rubies he wore in 
his garter buckles. This consisted 
of two handfuls of crumpled twenty- 
dollar bills from his trousers, three 
rolls of one-hundred-dollar bills from 
his waistcoat, and sundry other lots 
of currency, both paper and specie, 
that I found stowed away in his over- 
44 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

coat and dinner-coat pockets. There 
were also ten twenty-dollar gold pieces 
in a little silver chain-bag he carried 
on his wrist. As I say, there was 
about fifteen hundred dollars of this 
loose change, and I reckon up the 
value of his studs, garter rubies, and 
finger-rings at about twelve hundred 
dollars more, or a twenty-seven hun- 
dred dollars pull in all. Eh?" 

"Mercy, Bunny, that was a terri- 
bly risky thing. Suppose he had rec- 
ognized you?" cried Henriette. 

" Oh, he did or at least he thought 
he did," I replied, smiling broadly at 
the recollection. " On the way home 
in the cab he wept on my shoulder and 
said I was the best friend he ever had, 
and told me he loved me like a brother. 
There wasn't anything he wouldn't 
do for me, and if ever I wanted an 
automobile or a grand-piano all I had 
to do was to ask him for it. He was 
very genial." 

"Well, Bunny," said Henriette, 
45 



Mrs. Raffles 

" you are very clever at times, but do 
be careful. I am delighted to have 
you show your nerve now and then, 
but please don't take any serious 
chances. If Mr. de Pelt ever recog- 
nizes you and he dines here next 
Wednesday you'll get us both into 
awful trouble." 

Again I laughed. "He won't," 
said I, with a conviction born of ex- 
perience. "His geniality was of the 
kind that leaves the mind a blank the 
following morning. I don't believe 
Mr. de Pelt remembers now that he 
was at the Rockerbilts' last night, 
and even if he does, you know that I 
was in this house at eleven o'clock." 

"I, Bunny? Why, I haven't seen 
you since dinner," she demurred. 

" Nevertheless, Henriette, you know 
that I was in the house at eleven 
o'clock last night or, rather, you will 
know it if you are ever questioned on 
the subject, which you won't be," 
said I. " So, now that I have shown 
46 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

you in just what shape my nerve is, 
what is the demand you are going to 
put upon it?" 

"You will have to bring to the 
enterprise all that ability which used 
to characterize your efforts as an 
amateur actor, Bunny," she replied. 
" Summon all your sang-froid to your 
aid; act with deliberation, courtesy, 
and, above all, without the slightest 
manifestation of nervousness, and we 
should win, not a petty little twenty- 
seven hundred dollars, but as many 
thousands. You know Mrs. Gush- 
ington-Andrews ?" 

"Yes," said I. "She is the lady 
who asked me for the olives at your 
last dinner." 

"Precisely," observed Henriette. 
"You possibly observed also that 
wherever she goes she wears about 
sixty-nine yards of pearl rope upon 
her person." 

" Rope ?" I laughed. " I shouldn't 
call that rope. Cable, yes frankly, 
47 



Mrs. Raffles 

when she came into the dining-room 
the other night I thought it was a 
feather-boa she had on." 

"All pearls, Bunny, of the finest 
water," said Henriette, enthusiasti- 
cally. "There isn't one of the thou- 
sands that isn't worth anywhere from 
five hundred to twenty-five hundred." 

" And I am to land a yard or two of 
the stuff for you in some mysterious 
way?" I demanded. " How is it to 
be by kidnapping the lady, the 
snatch and run game, or how?" 

"Sarcasm does not suit your com- 
plexion, Bunny," retorted Henriette. 
"Your best method is to follow im- 
plicitly the directions of wiser brains. 
You are a first-class tool, but as a 
principal well well, neve* mind. 
You do what I tell you and some of 
those pearls will be ours. Mrs. Gush- 
ington- Andrews, as you may have 
noticed, is one of those exceedingly 
effusive ladies who go into ecstasies 
over everything and everybody. She 
48 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

is what Raffles used to call a palaverer. 
Where most people nod she describes 
a complete circle with her head. When 
a cold, formal handshake is necessary 
she perpetrates an embrace, and that 
is where we come in. At my next 
Tuesday tea she will be present. She 
will wear her pearls she'll be strung 
with them from head to foot. A 
rope-walk won't be in it with her, and 
every single little jewel will be worth 
a small fortune. You, Bunny, will 
be in the room to announce her when 
she arrives. She will rush to my arms, 
throw her own about my neck, the 
ornaments of my corsage will catch 
the rope at two or more points, sever 
the thread in several places, pearls will 
rain down upon the floor by dozens, 
and then " 

" I'm to snatch 'em and dive through 
the window, eh?" I interrupted. 

" No, Bunny you will behave like 
a gentleman, that is all," she re- 
sponded, haughtily; "or rather like a 
49 



Mrs. Raffles 

butler with the instincts of a gentle- 
man. At my cry of dismay over the 
accident " 

"Better call it the incident," I put 
in. 

"Hush! At my cry of dismay 
over the accident," Henriette re- 
peated, "you will spring forward, go 
down upon your knees, and gather up 
the jewels by the handful. You will 
pour them back into Mrs. Gushington- 
Andrews's hands and retire. Now, do 
you see?" 

"H'm yes," said I. "But how 
do you get the pearls if I pour them 
back into her hands? Am I to slide 
some of them under the rugs, or flick 
them with my thumb-nail under the 
piano or what?" 

" Nothing of the sort, Bunny ; just 
do as I tell you only bring your 
gloves to me just before the guests 
arrive, that is all," said Henriette. 
" Instinct will carry you through the 
rest of it." 

5 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

And then the conspiracy stopped 
for the moment. 

The following Tuesday at five the 
second of Mrs. Van Raffles's Tuesday 
afternoons began. Fortune favored 
us in that it was a beautiful day and 
the number of guests was large. 
Henriette was charming in her new 
gown specially imported from Paris 
a gown of Oriental design with row 
upon row of brilliantly shining, cres- 
cent-shaped ornaments firmly affixed 
to the front of it and every one of 
them as sharp as a steel knife. I 
could see at a glance that even if so 
little as one of these fastened its talons 
upon the pearl rope of Mrs. Gushing- 
ton - Andrews nothing under heaven 
could save it from laceration. 

What a marvellous mind there lay 
behind those exquisite, childlike eyes 
of the wonderful Henriette ! 

" Remember, Bunny calm deliber- 
ation your gloves now," were her 
last words to me. 

5 1 



Mrs. Raffles 

"Count on me, Henriette; but I 
still don't see " I began. 

"Hush! Just watch me," she re- 
plied. 

Whereupon this wonderful creature, 
taking my white gloves, deliberately 
smeared their palms and inner sides 
of the ringers with a milk-hued paste 
of her own making, composed of 
talcum powder and liquid honey. 
Nothing more innocent-appearing yet 
more villanously sticky have I ever 
before encountered. 

"There!" she said and at last I 
understood. 

An hour later our victim arrived 
and scarce an inch of her but shone 
like a snow-clad hill with the pearls 
she wore. I stood at the portiere 
and announced Mrs. Gushington- 
Andrews in my most blase" but 
butlerian tones. The lady fairly rush- 
ed by me, and in a moment her arms 
were about Henriette 's neck. 

" You dear, sweet thing!" cried Mrs. 
5 2 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

Gushington- Andrews. ' ' And you look 
so exquisitely charming to-day 

And then there came a ripping 
sound. The two women started to 
draw away from each other; five of 
the crescents catching in the rope, in 
the impulsive jerking back of Mrs. 
Gushington-Andrews in order that 
she might gaze into Henriette's eyes, 
cut through the marvellous cords of 
the exquisite jewels. There was a cry 
of dismay both from Henriette and 
her guest, and the rug beneath their 
feet was simply white with riches. In 
a moment I was upon my knees 
scooping them up by the handful. 

"Oh, dear, how very unfortunate!" 
cried Henriette. "Here, dear," she 
added, holding out a pair of teacups. 
" Let James pour them into this," and 
James, otherwise myself, did so to the 
extent of five teacups full of them and 
then he discreetly retired. 

"Well, Bunny," said Henriette, 
53 



Mrs. Raffles 

breathlessly, two hours later when 
her last guest had gone. "Tell me 
quickly what was the result?" 

"These, madam," said I, handing 
her a small plush bag into which I had 
poured the "salvage" taken from my 
sticky palms. "A good afternoon's 
work," I added. 

And, egad, it was : seventeen pearls 
of a value of twelve hundred dollars 
each, fifteen worth scarcely less than 
nine hundred dollars apiece, and 
some twenty-seven or eight smaller 
ones that we held to be worth in the 
neighborhood of five hundred dollars 
each. 

"Splendid!" cried Henriette. 
"Roughly speaking, Bunny, we've 
pulled in between forty and fifty 
thousand dollars to-day." 

"About that," said I, with an in- 
ward chuckle, for I, of course, did not 
tell Henriette of eight beauties I had 
kept out of the returns for myself. 
"But what are we going to do when 
54 




I, OF COURSE, DID NOT TELL HENRIETTE OF EIGHT 
BEAUTIES I HAD KEPT OUT" 



Mrs. Gushington-Andrews 

Mrs. Gushington-Andrews finds out 
that they are gone?" 

" I shall provide for that," said this 
wonderful woman. "I shall throw 
her off the scent by sending you over 
to her at once with sixteen of these 
assorted. I hate to give them up, 
but I think it advisable to pay that 
much as a sort of insurance against 
suspicion. Even then we'll be thirty- 
five thousand dollars to the good. 
And, by-the-way, Bunny, I want to 
congratulate you on one thing." 

" Ah ! What's that my sang-froid, 
my nerve?" I asked, airily. 

"No, the size of your hands," said 
Henriette. "The superficial area of 
those palms of yours has been worth 
ten thousand dollars to us to-day." 



THE ADVENTURE OF THE STEEL BONDS 

EXCUSE me, Henriette," said I 
one morning, after I had been in 
Mrs. Van Raffles's employ for about 
three months and had begun to cal- 
culate as to my share of the profits. 
"What are you doing with all this 
money we are gradually accumulat- 
ing? There must be pretty near a 
million in hand by this time eh?" 

"One million two hundred and 
eighty-seven thousand five hundred 
and twenty-eight dollars and thirty- 
six cents," replied Henriette in- 
stantly. "It's a tidy little sum." 

"Almost enough to retire on," I 
suggested. 

"Now, Bunny, stop that!" retorted 
56 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

Henriette. "Either stop it or else 
retire yourself. I am not what they 
call a quitter in this country, and I do 
not propose at the very height of my 
career to give up a business which I 
have struggled for years to establish." 

"That is all very well, Henriette," 
said I. " But the pitcher that goes to 
the bat too often strikes out at last." 
(I had become a baseball fiend dur- 
ing my sojourn in the States.) "A 
million dollars is a pot of money, 
and it's my advice to you to get away 
with it as soon as you can." 

" Excuse me, Bunny, but when did 
I ever employ you to give advice?" 
demanded Henriette. "It is quite 
evident that you don't understand 
me. Do you suppose for an instant 
that I am robbing these people here 
in Newport merely for the vulgar 
purpose of acquiring money ? If you 
do you have a woful misconception of 
the purposes which actuate an artist." 

"You certainly are an artist, Hen- 

s 57 



Mrs. Raffles 

riette," I answered, desirous of placat- 
ing her. 

"Then you should know better 
than to intimate that I am in this 
business for the sordid dollars and 
cents there are to be got out of it," 
pouted my mistress. " Mr. Vauxhall 
Bean doesn't chase the aniseseed bag 
because he loves to shed the aniseseed 
or hungers for bags as an article of 
food. He does it for the excitement 
of the hunt; because he loves to feel 
the movement of the hunter that he 
sits so well between his knees ; because 
he is enamoured of the baying of the 
hounds, the winding of the horn, and 
welcomes the element of personal 
danger that enters into the sport 
when he and his charger have to take 
an unusual fence or an extra broad 
watercourse. So with me. In sepa- 
rating these people here from their 
money and their jewels, it is not the 
money and the jewels that I care for 
so much as the delicious risks I in- 
58 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

cur in getting them. What the high 
fence is to the hunter, the barriers 
separating me from Mrs. Gaster's 
jewel-case are to me; what the watch- 
ful farmer armed with a shot-gun for 
the protection of his crops is to the 
master of the hounds, the police are to 
me. The game of circumventing the 
latter and surmounting the former 
are the joy of my life, and while my 
eyes flash and sparkle with appetite 
every time I see a necklace or a tiara 
or a roll of hundred - dollar bills in 
the course of my social duties, it is not 
avarice that makes them glitter, but 
the call to action which they sound." 

I felt like saying that if that were 
the case I should esteem it a privilege 
to be made permanent custodian of 
the balance in hand, but it was quite 
evident from Henriette's manner that 
she was in no mood for badinage, so I 
held my peace. 

"To prove to you that I am not 
out for the money, Bunny, I'll give 
59 



Mrs. Raffles 

you a check this morning for two 
hundred and fifty thousand dollars 
to pay you for those steel bonds you 
picked up on the train when you 
came up here from New York. That's 
two-and-a-half times what they are 
worth," said Henriette. "Is it a 
bargain?" 

"Certainly, ma'am," I replied, de- 
lighted with the proposition. " But 
what are you going to do with the 
bonds?" 

" Borrow a million and a half on 
'em," said Henriette. 

"What!" I cried. "A million and 
a half on a hundred thousand se- 
curity?" 

' ' Certainly, ' ' replied Henriette, 
" only it will require a little manipula- 
tion. For the past six months I have 
been depositing the moneys I have 
received in seventeen national banks 
in Ohio, each account being opened 
in a different name. The balances in 
each bank have averaged about three 
60 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

hundred thousand dollars, thanks to 
a circular system of checks in an 
endless chain that I have devised. 
Naturally the size of these accounts 
has hugely interested the bank offi- 
cials, and they all regard me as a most 
desirable customer, and I think I can 
manage matters so that two or three 
of them, anyhow, will lend me all the 
money I want on those bonds and 
this certificate of trust which I shall 
ask you to sign." 

"Me?" I laughed. "Surely you 
are joking. What value will my sig- 
nature have?" 

"It will be good as gold after you 
have deposited that check for two 
hundred and fifty thousand dollars 
in your New York bank," said Hen- 
riette. "I shall go to the president 
of the Ohoolihan National Bank at 
Oshkosh, Ohio, where I have at pres- 
ent three hundred and sixty - eight 
thousand three hundred and forty- 
three dollars and eighteen cents on 
61 



Mrs. Raffles 

deposit and tell him that the Hon. 
John Warrington Bunny, of New 
York, is my trustee for an estate of 
thirteen million dollars in funds set 
apart for me by a famous relative 
of mine who is not proud of the 
connection. He will communicate 
with you and ask you if this is true. 
You will respond by sending him a 
certified copy of the trust certificate, 
and refer him as to your own respon- 
sibility to the New York bank where 
our two hundred and fifty thousand 
dollars is on deposit. I will then swap 
checks with you for three hundred 
thousand dollars, mine to you going 
into your New York account and 
yours to me as trustee going into my 
account with the Ohoolihan National. 
The New York bank will naturally 
speak well of your balance, and the 
Ohoolihan people, finding the three- 
hundred-thousand-dollar check good, 
will never think of questioning your 
credit. This arranged, we will start 
62 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

in to wash those steel bonds up to the 
limit." 

" That's a very simple little plan of 
yours, Henriette," said I, "and the 
first part of it will work easily I have 
no doubt; but how the deuce are you 
going to wash those bonds up to 
fifteen times their value?" 

"Easiest thing in the world, 
Bunny," laughed Henriette. "There 
will be two million dollars of the 
bonds before I get through." 

" Heavens no counterfeiting, I 
hope?" I cried. 

"Nothing so vulgar," said Hen- 
riette. "Just a little management 
that's all. And, by-the-way, Bunny, 
when you get a chance, please hire 
twenty safe-deposit boxes for me in 
as many different trust companies 
here and in New York and don't 
have 'em too near together. That's 
all for the present." 

Three weeks later, having followed 
out Henriette's instructions to the 
63 



Mrs. Raffles 

letter, I received at my New York 
office a communication from the 
president of the Ohoolihan National 
Bank, of Oshkosh, Ohio, inquiring as 
to the Van Raffles trust fund. I re- 
plied with a certified copy of the 
original which Henriette had already 
placed in the president's hands. I 
incidentally referred the inquirer as to 
my own standing to the Delancy Trust 
Company, of New York. The three- 
hundred-thousand-dollar checks were 
exchanged by Henriette and myself 
hers, by-the-way, was on the Seventy- 
Sixth National Bank, of Brookline, 
Massachusetts, and was signed by a 
fictitious male name, which shows how 
carefully she had covered her tracks. 
Both went through without question, 
and then the steel bonds came into 
play. Henriette applied for a loan of 
one million five hundred thousand 
dollars, offering the trust certificate 
for security. The president of the 
Ohoolihan National wished to see 
64 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

some of her other securities, if she had 
any, to which Henriette cordially re- 
plied that if he would come to New 
York she would gladly show them to 
him, and intimated that if the loan 
went through she wouldn't mind pay- 
ing the bank a bonus of one hundred 
thousand dollars for the accommoda- 
tion. The response was immediate. 
Mr. Bolivar would come on at once, 
and he did. 

" Now, Bunny," said Mrs. Van Raf- 
fles on the morning of his arrival, 
" all you have to do is to put the one 
hundred bonds first in the vault of the 
Amalgamated Trust Company, of West 
Virginia, on Wall Street. Mr. Bolivar 
and I will go there and I will show 
them to him. We will then depart. 
Immediately after our departure you 
will get the bonds and take them to 
the vaults of the Trans- Missouri and 
Continental Trust Company, of New 
Jersey, on Broadway. You will go 
on foot, we in a hansom, so that you 
65 



Mrs. Raffles 

will get there first. I will take Mr. 
Bolivar in and show him the bonds 
again. Then you will take them to 
the vaults of the Riverside Coal Trust 
Company, of Pennsylvania, on Broad 
Street, where five minutes later I will 
show them for the third time to Mr. 
Bolivar and so on. We will repeat 
this operation eighteen times in New 
York so that our visitor will fancy he 
has seen one million eight hundred 
thousand dollars' worth of bonds in 
all, after which he will come to New- 
port, where I will show them to him 
twice more making a two-million- 
dollar show-down. See?" 

I toppled back into a chair in sheer 
amazement. 

" By Jingo! but you are a wonder," 
I cried. "If it only works." 

It worked. Mr. Bolivar was duly 

impressed with the extent of Hen- 

riette's fortune in tangible assets, not 

to mention her evident standing in the 

66 



Adventure of the Steel Bonds 

community of her residence. He was 
charmingly entertained and never for 
an instant guessed when at dinner 
where Henriette had no less person- 
ages than the Rockerbilts, Mrs. Gaster, 
Mrs. Gushington - Andrews, Tommy 
Dare, and various other social lights 
to meet him, that the butler who 
passed him his soup and helped him 
liberally to wine was the Hon. John 
Warrington Bunny, trustee. 

"Well," said Henriette, as she 
gazed delightedly at the president's 
certified check for one million four hun- 
dred thousand dollars the amount 
of the loan less the bonus " that 
was the best sport yet. Even aside 
from the size of the check, Bunny, it 
was great chasing the old man to 
cover. What do you think he said 
to me when he left, the poor, dear old 
innocent?" 

"Give it up what?" 

"He said that I ought to be very 
careful in my dealings with men, who 
67 



Mrs. Raffles 

might impose upon my simplicity," 
laughed Henriette. 

"Simplicity?" I roared. "What 
ever gave him the idea that you were 
simple?" 

"Oh I don't know," said Hen- 
riette, demurely. " I guess it was be- 
cause I told him I kept those bonds in 
twenty safe-deposit vaults instead of 
in one, to protect myself in case of loss 
by fire I didn't want to have too 
many eggs in one basket." 

"H'm!" said I. "What did he 
say to that?" 

Henriette laughed long and loud 
at the recollection of the aged bank 
president's reply. 

"He squeezed my hand and an- 
swered, 'What a child it is, indeed!'" 
said Henriette. 



VI 



THE ADVENTURE OF THE FRESH-AIR 
FUND 

IT was a bright, sunny morning in 
the early summer when Henriette, 
gazing out of the dining-room win- 
dows across the lawns adjoining the 
Rockerbilt place, caught sight of a 
number of ragamuffins at play there. 

" Who are those little tatterdemal- 
ions, Bunny?" she asked, with a sug- 
gestion of a frown upon her brow. 
" They have been playing on the lawns 
since seven o'clock this morning, and 
I've lost quite two hours' sleep be- 
cause of their chatter." 

"They are children from Mrs. 
Rockerbilt 's Fresh- Air Society," I ex- 
plained, for I, too, had been annoyed 
69 



Mrs. Raffles 

by the loud pranks of \he youngsters 
and had made inquiries as to their 
identity. "Every summer, Digby, 
Mr. de Pelt's valet, tells me, Mrs. 
Rockerbilt gives a tea for the benefit 
of the Fresh -Air Fund, and she al- 
ways has a dozen of the children from 
town for a week beforehand so as to 
get them in shape for the function." 

"Get them in shape for the func- 
tion, Bunny?" asked Henriette. 

"Yes; one of the features of the 
tea is the presence of the youngsters, 
and they have to be pretty well re- 
hearsed before Mrs. Rockerbilt dares 
let them loose among her guests," 
said I, for Digby had explained the 
scheme in detail to me. "You see, 
their ideas of fun are rather primitive, 
and if they were suddenly introduced 
into polite society without any pre- 
vious training the results might prove 
unpleasant." 

"Ah!" said Henriette, gazing ab- 
stractedly out of the window in the 
70 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

manner of one suddenly seized with 
an idea. 

"Yes," I went on. "You see, the 
street gamin loves nothing better in 
the way of diversion than throwing 
things at somebody, particularly if 
that somebody is what is known to 
his vernacular as a Willie-boy. As 
between eating an over-ripe peach 
and throwing it at the pot-hat of a 
Willie-boy, the ragamuffin would deny 
even the cravings of his stomach for 
that tender morsel. It is his delight, 
too, to heave tin cans, wash-boilers, 
flat-irons, pies anything he can lay 
his hands on at the automobilly- 
boys, if I may use the term, of all of 
which, before he is turned loose in the 
highest social circles of the land, it is 
desirable that he shall be cured." 

"I see," said Henriette. "And so 
Mrs. Rockerbilt has them here on a 
ten days' probation during which 
time they acquire that degree of 
savoir-faire and veneer of etiquette 



Mrs. Raffles 

which alone makes it possible for her 
to exhibit them at her tea." 

"Precisely," said I. "She lets 
them sleep in the big box-stalls of her 
stable where the extra coach-horses 
were kept before the motor-car craze 
came in. They receive four square 
meals a day, are rubbed down and 
curry-combed before each meal, and 
are bathed night and morning in 
violet water until the fateful occasion, 
after which they are returned to New 
York cleaner if not wiser children." 

"It is a great charity," said Hen- 
riette, dreamily. "Does Mrs. Rock- 
erbilt make any charge for admission 
to these teas you say they are for 
the benefit of the Fresh-Air Fund?" 

"Oh no, indeed," said I. "It is 
purely a private charity. The young- 
sters get their ten days in the country, 
learn good manners, and Newport so- 
ciety has a pleasant afternoon all at 
Mrs. Rockerbilt's expense." 

"H'm!" said Henriette, pensively. 
72 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

"H'm! I think there is a better 
method. Ah I want you to run 
down to New York for a few days 
shortly, Bunny. I have a letter I 
wish you tomail." 

Nothing more was said on the sub- 
ject until the following Tuesday, when 
I was despatched to New York with 
instructions to organize myself into 
a Winter Fresh-Air Society, to have 
letter-heads printed, with the names 
of some of the most prominent ladies 
in society as patronesses Henriette 
had secured permission from Mrs. 
Gaster, Mrs. Sloyd- Jinks, Mrs. Rock- 
erbilt, Mrs. Gushington - Andrews, 
Mrs. R. U. Innit, the duchess of 
Snarleyow, Mrs. Willie K. Van Pelt, 
and numerous others to use their 
names in connection with the new 
enterprise and to write her a letter 
asking if she would not interest herself 
and her friends in the needs of the 
new society. 

"It is quite as important," the 

6 73 



Mrs. Raffles 

letter ran, "that there should be a 
fund to take the little sufferers of our 
dreadful winters away from the sleet 
and snow - burdened streets of the 
freezing city as it is to give them their 
summer outing. This society is in 
great need of twenty-five thousand 
dollars properly to prosecute its work 
during the coming winter, and we 
appeal to you for aid." 

Henriette's personal response to 
this request was a check for ten thou- 
sand dollars, which as secretary and 
treasurer of the fund I acknowledged, 
and then, of course, returned to her, 
whereupon her campaign began in 
earnest. Her own enthusiasm for the 
project, backed up by her most gen- 
erous contribution, proved contagious, 
and inside of two weeks, not counting 
Henriette's check, we were in posses- 
sion of over seventeen thousand dol- 
lars, one lady going so far as to give 
us all her bridge winnings for a week. 

"And now for the grand coup, 
74 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

Bunny," said Mrs. Van Raffles, when 
I had returned with the spoil. 

"Great Scot!" I cried. "Haven't 
you got enough?" 

"No, Bunny. Not a quarter 
enough," she replied. "These win- 
ter resorts are very expensive places, 
and while seventeen thousand dollars 
would do very nicely for running a 
farm in summer, we shall need quite 
a hundred thousand to send our bene- 
ficiaries to Palm Beach in proper style. ' ' 

"Phe-e-w!" I whistled, in amaze- 
ment. "Palm Beach, eh?" 

"Yes," said Henriette. "Palm 
Beach. I have always wanted to go 
there." 

"And the one hundred thousand 
dollars how do you propose to get 
that?" I demanded. 

" I shall give a lawn- fete and bazaar 
for the benefit of the fund. It will 
differ from Mrs. Rockerbilt's tea in 
that I shall charge ten dollars ad- 
mission, ten dollars to get out, and 
75 



Mrs. Raffles 

we shall sell things besides. I have 
already spoken to Mrs. Gaster about 
it and she is delighted with the idea. 
She has promised to stock the flower 
table with the cream of her conserva- 
tories. Mrs. Rockerbilt has volun- 
teered to take charge of the refresh- 
ments. The duchess of Snarleyow is 
dressing a doll that is to be named 
by Senator Defew and raffled at five 
dollars a guess. Mrs. Gushington- 
Andrews is to take entire control of 
the fancy knick-knack table, where 
we shall sell gold match-boxes, solid 
silver automobile head-lights, cigar- 
cutters, cocktail - shakers, and other 
necessities of life among the select. 
I don't see how the thing can fail, do 
you?" 

"Not so far, "said I. 

"Each of the twelve lady patron- 
esses has promised to be responsible 
for the sale of a hundred tickets of ad- 
mission at ten dollars apiece that 
makes twelve thousand dollars in ad- 
76 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

missions. It will cost each person 
ten dollars more to get out, which, if 
only half of the tickets are used, will 
be six thousand dollars or eighteen 
thousand dollars in entrance and exit 
fees alone." 

"Henriette!" I cried, enthusiasti- 
cally, "Madam Humbert was an 
amateur alongside of you." 

Mrs. Van Raffles smiled. "Thank 
you, Bunny," said she. "If I'd only 
been a man " 

" Gad !" I ejaculated. " Wall Street 
would have been an infant in your 
hands." 

Well, the fateful day came. Hen- 
riette, to do her justice, had herself 
spared no pains or expense to make 
the thing a success. I doubt if the 
gardens of the Constant-Scrappes 
ever looked so beautiful. There were 
flowers everywhere, and hanging from 
tree to tree from one end of their 
twenty acres to the other were long 
and graceful garlands of multicolored 
77 



Mrs. Raffles 

electric lights that when night came 
down upon the fete made the scene 
appear like a veritable glimpse of 
fairyland. Everybody that is any- 
body was there, with a multitude of 
others who may always be counted 
upon to pay well to see their names 
in print or to get a view of society at 
close range. Of course there was 
music of an entrancing sort, the num- 
bers being especially designed to 
touch the flintiest of hearts, and Hen- 
ri ette was everywhere. No one, great 
or small, in that vast gathering but 
received one of her gracious smiles, 
and it is no exaggeration to say that 
half of the flowers purchased at rates 
that would make a Fifth Avenue 
tailor hang his head in shame, were 
bought by the gallant gentlemen of 
Newport for presentation to the 
hostess of the day. These were im- 
mediately placed on sale again so 
that on the flower account the receipts 
were perceptibly swelled. 
78 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

A more festal occasion has never 
been known even in this festal en- 
vironment. The richest of the land 
vied with one another in making the 
affair a vast financial success. The 
ever gallant Tommy Dare left the 
scene twenty times for the mere 
privilege of paying his way in and out 
that many times over at ten dollars 
each way. The doll which Senator 
Defew had named was also the cause 
of much merriment, since when all was 
over and some thirteen thousand five 
hundred dollars had been taken in for 
guesses, it was found that the senator 
had forgotten the name he had given 
it. When the laughter over this in- 
cident had subsided, Henriette sug- 
gested that it be put up at auction, 
which plan was immediately followed 
out, with the result that the handi- 
work of the duchess of Snarleyow 
was knocked down for eight thousand 
six hundred and seventy-five dollars 
to a Cincinnati brewer who had been 
79 



Mrs. Raffles 

trying for eight years to get his name 
into the Social Register. 

"Thank goodness, that's over, "said 
Henriette when the last guest had 
gone and the lights were out. "It 
has been a very delightful affair, but 
towards the end it began to get on 
my nerves. I am really appalled, 
Bunny, at the amount of money we 
have taken in." 

" Did you get the full one hundred 
thousand dollars?" I asked. 

"Full hundred thousand?" she 
cried, hysterically. " Listen to this." 
And she read the following mem- 
orandum of the day's receipts: 

Flower Table '. $36,000.00 

Doll 22,175,00 

Admissions 19,260.00 

Exits 17,500.00 

Candy Table 12,350.00 

Supper Table 43,060.00 

Knick- Knacks 17,380.00 

Book Table 123.30 

Coat Checks 3,340.00 

Total $171,188.30 

80 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

"Great Heavens, what a haul!" I 
cried. "But how much did you 
spend yourself?" 

"Oh about twenty thousand dol- 
lars, Bunny I really felt I could 
afford it. We'll net not less than one 
hundred and fifty thousand." 

I was suddenly seized with a chill. 

"The thing scares me, Henriette," 
I murmured. " Suppose these people 
ask you next winter for a report?" 

"Oh, "laughed Henriette, "I shall 
immediately turn the money over to 
the fund. You can send me a receipt 
and that will let us out. Later on 
you can return the money to me." 

"Even then " I began. 

"Tush, Bunny," said she. "There 
isn't going to be any even then. Six 
months from now these people will 
have forgotten all about it. It's a 
little way they have. Their memory 
for faces and the money they spend 
is shorter than the purse of a bank- 
rupt. Have no fear." 
81 



Mrs. Raffles 

And, as usual, Henriette was right, 
for the next February when the 
beneficiaries of the Winter Fresh- Air 
Fund spent a month at Palm Beach, 
enjoying the best that favored spot 
afforded in the way of entertainment 
and diversion, not a word of criticism 
was advanced by anybody, although 
the party consisted solely of Mrs. Van 
Raffles, her maid, and Bunny, her 
butler. In fact, the contrary was 
the truth. The people we met while 
there, many of whom had contributed 
most largely to the fund, welcomed us 
with open arms, little suspecting how 
intimately connected they were with 
our sources of supply. 

Mrs. Gaster, it is true, did ask 
Henriette how the Winter Fresh-Air 
Fund was doing and was told the 
truth that it was doing very well. 

"The beneficiaries did very well 
here," said Henriette. 

" I have seen nothing of them," ob- 
served Mrs. Gaster. 
82 



The Fresh-Air Fund 

"Well no," said Henriette. "The 
managers thought it was better to 
send them here before the season was 
at its height. The moral influences 
of Palm Beach at the top of the sea- 
son are well a trifle strong for the 
young don't you think?" she ex- 
plained. 

The tin-type I hand you will give 
you some idea of how much one of the 
beneficiaries enjoyed himself. There 
is nothing finer in the world than surf 
bathing in winter. 



VII 

THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. ROCKER- 
BILT'S TIARA 

TTENRIETTE had been unwont- 
ll edly reserved for a whole week, 
a fact which was beginning to get 
sadly on my nerves when she broke 
an almost Sphinxlike silence with the 
extraordinary remark: 

" Bunny, I am sorry, but I don't see 
any other way out of it. You must 
get married." 

To say that I was shocked by the 
observation is putting it mildly. As 
you must by this time have realized 
yourself, there was only one woman in 
the world that I could possibly bring 
myself to think fondly of, and that 
woman was none other than Hen- 
84 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

riette herself. I could not believe, 
however, that this was at all the no- 
tion she had in mind, and what little 
poise I had was completely shattered 
by the suggestion. 

I drew myself up with dignity, 
however, in a moment and answered 
her. 

" Very well, dear," I said. " When- 
ever you are ready I am. You must 
have banked enough by this time to 
be able to support me in the style to 
which I am accustomed." 

"That is not what I meant, Bun- 
ny," she retorted, coldly, frowning at 
me. 

"Well, it's what / mean," said I. 
"You are the only woman I ever 
loved" 

"But, Bunny dear, that can come 
later," said she, with a charming little 
blush. "What I meant, my dear 
boy, was not a permanent affair but 
one of these Newport marriages. Not 
necessarily for publication, but as a 
85 



Mrs. Raffles 

guarantee of good faith," she ex- 
plained. 

"I don't understand," said I, af- 
fecting denseness, for I understood 
only too well. 

4 ' Stupid ! ' ' cried Henriette . "I need 
a confidential maid, Bunny, to help 
us in our business, and I don't want 
to take a third party in at random. 
If you had a wife I could trust her. 
You could stay married as long as 
we needed her, and then, following 
the Newport plan, you could get rid 
of her and marry me later that is 
er provided I was willing to marry 
you at all, and I am not so sure that 
I shall not be some day, when I am 
old and toothless." 

" I fail to see the necessity for a 
maid of that kind," said I. 

"That's because you are a man, 
Bunny," said Henriette. "There are 
splendid opportunities for acquiring 
the gems these Newport ladies wear 
by one who may be stationed in the 
86 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

dressing-room. There is Mrs. Rock- 
erbilt's tiara, for instance. It is at 
present the finest thing of its kind 
in existence and of priceless value. 
When she isn't wearing it it is kept in 
the vaults of the Tiverton Trust Com- 
pany, and how on earth we are to get 
it without the assistance of a maid 
we can trust I don't see except in 
the vulgar, commonplace way of 
sandbagging the lady and brutally 
stealing it, and Newport society hasn't 
quite got to the point where you can 
do a thing like that to a woman with- 
out causing talk, unless you are 
married to her." 

"Well, I'll tell you one thing, Hen- 
riette, " I returned, with more positive- 
ness than I commonly show, " I will 
not marry a lady's maid, and that's 
all there is about it. You forget that 
I am a gentleman." 

"It's only a temporary arrange- 
ment, Bunny," she pleaded. "It's 
done all the time in the smart set." 
87 



Mrs. Raffles 

" Well, the morals of the smart set 
are not my morals, ' ' I retorted. " My 
father was a clergyman, Henriette, 
and I'm something of a churchman 
myself, and I won't stoop to such 
baseness. Besides, what's to prevent 
my wife from blabbing when we try 
to ship her?" 

"H'm!" mused Henriette. "I 
hadn't thought of that it would be 
dangerous, wouldn't it?" 

"Very," said I. "The only safe 
way out of it would be to kill the 
young woman, and my religious scru- 
ples are strongly against anything of 
the sort. You must remember, Hen- 
riette, that there are one or two of the 
commandments that I hold in too 
high esteem to break them." 

"Then what shall we do, Bunny?" 
demanded Mrs. Van Raffles. " / must 
have that tiara." 

"Well, there's the old amateur 
theatrical method," said I. " Have a 
little play here, reproduce Mrs. Rock- 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

erbilt's tiara in paste for one of the 
characters to wear, substitute the 
spurious for the real, and there you 
are." 

"That is a good idea," said Hen- 
riette; "only I hate amateur theatri- 
cals. I'll think it over." 

A few days later my mistress sum- 
moned me again. 

"Bunny, you used to make fairly 
good sketches, didn't you ?" she asked. 

"Pretty good," said I. "Chiefly 
architectural drawings, however de- 
tails of facades and ornamental de- 
signs." 

"Just the thing!" cried Henriette. 
"To-night Mrs. Rockerbilt gives a 
moonlight reception on her lawns. 
They adjoin ours. She will wear her 
tiara, and I want you when she is in 
the gardens to hide behind some con- 
venient bit of shrubbery and make 
an exact detail sketch of the tiara. 
Understand?" 

"I do," said I. 
89 



Mrs. Raffles 

"Don't you miss a ruby or a dia- 
mond or the teeniest bit of filigree, 
Bunny. Get the whole thing to a 
carat," she commanded. 

"And then?" I asked, excitedly. 

"Bring it to me; I'll attend to the 
rest," said she. 

You may be sure that when night 
came I went at the work in hand with 
alacrity. It was not always easy to 
get the right light on the lady's tiara, 
but in several different quarters of 
the garden I got her sufficiently well, 
though unconsciously, posed to ac- 
complish my purpose. Once I nearly 
yielded to the temptation to reach 
my hand through the shrubbery and 
snatch the superb ornament from 
Mrs. Rockerbilt's head, for she was 
quite close enough to make this pos- 
sible, but the vulgarity of such an 
operation was so very evident that I 
put it aside almost as soon as thought 
of. And I have always remembered 
dear old Raffles's remark, "Take 
90 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

everything in sight, Bunny," he used 
to say; "but, damn it, do it like a 
gentleman, not a professional." 

The sketch made, I took it to my 
room and colored it, so that that night, 
when Henriette returned, I had ready 
for her a perfect pictorial representa- 
tion of the much-coveted bauble. 

"It is simply perfect, Bunny," she 
cried, delightedly, as she looked at it. 
"You have even got the sparkle of 
that incomparable ruby in the front." 

Next morning we went to New 
York, and Henriette, taking my design 
to a theatrical property-man we knew 
on Union Square, left an order for its 
exact reproduction in gilt and paste. 

" I am going to a little fancy-dress 
dance, Mr. Sikes," she explained, "as 
Queen Catharine of Russia, and this 
tiara is a copy of the very famous lost 
negligee crown of that unhappy queen. 
Do you think you can let me have it 
by Tuesday next?" 

"Easily, madam," said Sikes. "It 
91 



Mrs. Raffles 

is a beautiful thing and it will give me 
real pleasure to reproduce it. I'll 
guarantee it will be so like the original 
that the queen herself couldn't tell 
'em apart. It will cost you forty- 
eight dollars. 

"Agreed," said Henriette. 

And Sikes was true to his word. 
The following Tuesday afternoon 
brought to my New York apartment 
for of course Mrs. Raffles did not 
give Sikes her right name an ab- 
solutely faultless copy of Mrs. Rock- 
erbilt's chiefest glory. It was so like 
that none but an expert in gems could 
have told the copy from the original, 
and when I bore the package back to 
Newport and displayed its contents 
to my mistress she flew into an 
ecstasy of delight. 

"We'll have the original in a week 
if you keep your nerve, Bunny," she 
cried. 

"Theatricals?" said I. 

" No, indeed," said Henriette. " If 
92 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

Mrs. Rockerbilt knew this copy was 
in existence she'd never wear the 
other in public again as long as she 
lived without bringing a dozen de- 
tectives along with her. No, indeed 
a dinner. I want you to connect 
the electric lights of the dining-room 
with the push-button at my foot, so 
that at any moment I can throw the 
dining - room into darkness. Mrs. 
Rockerbilt will sit at my left Tommy 
Dare to the right. She will wear her 
famous coiffure surmounted by the 
tiara. At the moment you are pass- 
ing the poisson I will throw the room 
into darkness, and you " 

" I positively decline, Henriette, 
to substitute one tiara for another in 
the dark. Why, darn it all, she'd 
scream the minute I tried it," I pro- 
tested, 

"Of course she would," said she, 
impatiently. "And that is why I 
don't propose any such idiotic per- 
formance. You will merely stumble 
93 



Mrs. Raffles 

in the dark and manage your elbow 
so awkwardly that Mrs. Rockerbilt's 
coiffure will be entirely disarranged 
by it. She will scream, of course, and 
I will instantly restore the light, after 
which / will attend to the substitu- 
tion. Now don't fail me and the 
tiara will be ours." 

I stand ready with affidavits to 
prove that that dinner was the most 
exciting affair of my life. At one 
time it seemed to me that I could not 
possibly perform my share of the 
conspiracy without detection, but a 
glance at Henriette, sitting calmly 
and coolly, and beautiful too, by gad, 
at the head of the table, chatting as 
affably with the duke of Snarleyow 
and Tommy Dare as though there was 
nothing in the wind, nerved me to 
action. The moment came, and in- 
stantly as I leaned over Mrs. Rocker- 
bilt's side with the fish platter in my 
hand out went the light; crash went 
my elbow into the lady's stunning 
94 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

coiffure ; her little, well - modulated 
scream of surprise rent the air, and, 
flash, back came the lights again. 
All was as Henriette had foretold, 
Mrs. Rockerbilt's lovely blond locks 
were frightfully demoralized, and the 
famous tiara with it had slid aslant 
athwart her cheek. 

"Dear me!" cried Henriette, rising 
hurriedly and full of warm sympathy. 
"How very awkward!" 

"Oh, don't speak of it," laughed 
Mrs. Rockerbilt, amiably. "It is 
nothing, dear Mrs. Van Raffles. These 
electric lights are so very uncertain 
these days, and I am sure James is 
not at all to blame for hitting me as 
he has done; it's the most natural 
thing in the world, only may I 
please run up-stairs and fix my hair 
again?" 

"You most certainly shall," said 

Henriette. " And I will go with you, 

my dear Emily. I am so mortified 

that if you will let me do penance in 

95 



Mrs. Raffles 

that way I will myself restore order 
out of this lovely chaos." 

The little speech was received with 
the usual hilarious appreciation which 
follows anything out of the usual 
course of events in high social circles. 
Tommy Dare gave three cheers for 
Mrs. Van Raffles, and Mrs. Gramercy 
Van Pelt, clad in a gorgeous red cos- 
tume, stood up on a chair and toasted 
me in a bumper of champagne. Mean- 
while Henriette and Mrs. Rockerbilt 
had gone above. 

"Isn't it a beauty, Bunny," said 
Henriette the next morning, as she 
held up the tiara to my admiring 
gaze, a flashing, coruscating bit of 
the jeweler's art that, I verily believe, 
would have tempted the soul of hon- 
or itself into rascally ways. 

"Magnificent!" I asserted. "But 
which is this, the forty-eight-dol- 
lar one or the original?" 

"The original," said Henriette, ca- 
96 



Mrs. Rockerbilt's Tiara 

ressing the bauble. " You see, when 
we got to my room last night and I 
had Mrs. Rockerbilt sitting before the 
mirror, and despite her protestations 
was fixing her dishevelled locks with 
my own fair hands, I arranged to 
have the lights go out again just as 
the tiara was laid on the dressing- 
table. The copy was in the table 
drawer, and while my right hand was 
apparently engaged in manipulating 
the refractory light, and my voice was 
laughingly calling down maledictions 
upon the electric lighting company 
for its wretched service, my left hand 
was occupied with the busiest effort of 
its career in substituting the spurious 
tiara for the other." 

"And Mrs. Rockerbilt never even 
suspected?" 

"No," said Henriette. "In fact, 
she placed the bogus affair in her hair 
herself. As far as her knowledge goes, 
I never even touched the original." 

"Well, you're a wonder, Henri- 
97 



Mrs. RaffleS 

ette," said I, with a sigh. "Still, if 
Mrs. Rockerbilt should ever dis- 
cover 

"She won't, Bunny," said Hen- 
riette. " She'll never have occasion 
to test the genuineness of her tiara. 
These Newport people have other 
sources of income than the vulgar 
pawnshops." 

But, alas! later on Henriette made 
a discovery herself that for the time 
being turned her eyes red with weep- 
ing. The Rockerbilt tiara itself was 
as bogus as our own copy. There 
wasn't a real stone in the whole out- 
fit, and the worst part of it was that 
under the circumstances Henriette 
could not tell anybody over the tea- 
cups that Mrs. Rockerbilt was, in 
vulgar parlance, " putting up a shine" 
on high society. 



VIII 

THE ADVENTURE OF THE CARNEGIE 
LIBRARY 

MERCIFUL Midas, Bunny," said 
Henriette one morning as I was 
removing the breakfast-tray from her 
apartment. " Did you see the extent 
of Mr. Carnegie's benefactions in the 
published list this morning?" 

" I have not received my paper 
yet," said I. "Moreover, I doubt if 
it will contain any reference to such 
matters when it does come. You 
know I read only the London Times, 
Mrs. Van Raffles. I haven't been 
able to go the American newspa- 
pers." 

"More fool you, then, Bunny," 
laughed my mistress. " Any man who 
99 



Mrs. Raffles 

wants to pursue crime as a polite 
diversion and does not read the 
American newspapers fails to avail 
himself of one of the most potent in- 
struments for the attainment of the 
highest artistic results. You cannot 
pick up a newspaper in any part of 
the land without discovering some- 
where in its columns some reference 
to a new variety of house-breaking, 
some new and highly artistic method 
of writing another man's autograph 
so that when appended to a check 
and presented at his bank it will bear 
the closest scrutiny to which the pay- 
ing-teller will subject it, some truly 
Napoleonic method of entirely novel 
design for the sudden parting of the 
rich from their possessions. Any 
university which attempted to add 
a School of Peculation to its curric- 
ulum and ignored the daily papers 
as a positive source of inspiration to 
the highest artistry in the profession 
would fail as ignobly as though it 

100 



The Carnegie Library 

should forget to teach the funda- 
mental principles of high finance." 

"I was not aware of their pro- 
ficiency in that direction," said I. 

"You never will get on, Bunny," 
sighed Henriette, "because you are 
not quick to seize opportunities that 
lie directly under your nose. How 
do you suppose I first learned of all 
this graft at Newport? Why, by 
reading the newspaper accounts of 
their jewels in the Sunday and daily 
newspapers. How do I know that if 
I want to sand-bag Mr. Rockerbilt 
and rifle his pockets all I have to 
do is to station myself outside the 
Crackerbaker Club any dark opera 
night after twelve and catch him 
on his way home with his fortune 
sticking out all over him? Because 
the newspapers tell me that he is a 
regular habitue" of the Crackerbaker 
and plays bridge there every night 
after the opera. How do I know just 
how to walk from my hall bedroom 

IOI 



Mrs. Raffles 

in my little East Side tenement up 
Fifth Avenue into Mrs. Caster's din- 
ing - room, where she has a million 
in plate on her buffet, with my eyes 
shut, without fear of stumbling over 
a step or a chair or even a footstool ? 
Because the newspapers have so re- 
peatedly printed diagrams of the in- 
terior of the lady's residence that its 
halls, passages, doorways, exits, twists, 
turns, and culs-de-sac are indelibly en- 
graved upon my mind. How did I 
acquire my wonderful knowledge of 
the exact number of pearls, rubies, 
diamonds, opals, tiaras, bracelets, 
necklaces, stomachers, and other gor- 
geous jewels now in the possession 
of the smart set? Only by an 
assiduous devotion to the contents 
of the daily newspapers in their re- 
ports of the doings of the socially 
elect. I have a scrap-book, Bunny, 
that has been two years in the mak- 
ing, and there hasn't been a novel 
burglary reported in all that time 
102 



The Carnegie Library 

that is not recorded in my book, not 
a gem that has appeared at the op- 
era, the theatre, the Charity Ball, the 
Horse Show, or a monkey dinner that 
has not been duly noted in this vade- 
mecum of mine, fully described and in 
a sense located. If it wasn't for that 
knowledge I could not hope for success 
any more than you could if you went 
hunting mountain-lions in the Desert 
of Sahara, or tried to lure speckled- 
trout from the depths of an empty 
goldfish globe." 

"I see," said I, meekly. "I have 
missed a great opportunity. I will 
subscribe to the Tribune and Evening 
Post right away." 

I have never understood why Hen- 
riette greeted this observation with 
a peal of silvery laughter that fairly 
made the welkin ring. All I know is 
that it so irritated me that I left 
the room to keep from making a 
retort that might seriously have dis- 
turbed our friendship. Later in the 
103 



Mrs. Raffles 

day, Mrs. Van Raffles rang for me 
and I attended upon her orders. 

" Bunny," said she, " I've made up 
my mind to it I must have a 
Carnegie library, that is all there is 
about it, and you must help. The 
iron- master has already spent thir- 
ty - nine million dollars on that 
sort of thing, and I don't see why 
if other people can get 'em we 
can't." 

"Possibly because we are not a 
city, town, or hamlet," I suggested, 
for I had been looking over the daily 
papers since my morning's talk with 
the lady, and had observed just who 
had been the beneficiaries of Mr. 
Carnegie's benefactions. "He don't 
give 'em to individuals, but to com- 
munities." 

"Of course not," she responded, 
quickly. " But what is to prevent 
our becoming a municipality?" 

My answer was an amazed silence, 
for frankly I could not for the life of 
104 



The Carnegie Library 

me guess how we were to do any such 
thing. 

"It's the easiest thing in the 
world, ' ' she continued. " All you have 
to do is to buy an abandoned farm on 
Long Island with a bleak sea-front, 
divide it up into corner lots, advertise 
the lots for sale on the instalment 
plan, elect your mayor, and Raffles- 
hurst - by - the - Sea, swept by ocean 
breezes, fifteen cents from the Bat- 
tery, is a living, breathing reality." 

"By the jumping Disraeli, Hen- 
riette, but you are a marvel!" I cried, 
with enthusiasm. "But," I added, 
my ardor cooling a little, "won't it 
cost money?" 

"About fifteen hundred dollars," 
said Henriette. " I can win that at 
bridge in an hour." 

"Well," said I, "you know you can 
command my services, Henriette. 
"What shall I do?" 

"Organize the city," she replied. 
" Here is fifty dollars. That will do for 
s 105 



Mrs. Raffles 

a starter. Go down to Long Island, 
buy the farm, put up a few signs call- 
ing on people to own their own homes ; 
advertise the place in big capital let- 
ters in the Sunday papers as likely 
to be the port of the future, consider 
yourself duly elected mayor, stop in 
at some photograph shop in New 
York on your way back and get a few 
dozen pictures of street scenes in 
Binghamton, Oberlin, Kalamazoo, and 
other well-populated cities, and then 
come back here for further instruc- 
tions. Meanwhile I will work out the 
other details of the scheme." 

According to my habit I followed 
Henriette's instructions to the letter. 
A farm of five hundred acres was 
secured within a week, the bleakest, 
coldest spot ever swept by ocean 
breezes anywhere. It cost six hun- 
dred dollars in cash, with immediate 
possession. Three days later, with 
the use of a ruler, I had mapped out 
about twelve thousand corner lots on 
1 06 



The Carnegie Library 

the thing, and, thanks to my knack at 
draughtsmanship, had all ready for 
anybody's inspection as fine a ground- 
plan of Raffleshurst-by-the-Sea as 
ever was got up by a land-booming 
company in this or any other coun- 
try. I then secured the photographs 
desired by my mistress, advertised 
Raffleshurst in three Sunday news- 
papers to the tune of a half-page each, 
and returned to Newport. I flattered 
myself that the thing was well done, 
for on reading the advertisement noth- 
ing would do but that Henriette 
should visit the place in person. The 
ads were so phrased, she said, as to be 
irresistible. 

"It's fine, Bunny," she cried, with 
an enthusiastic laugh as she gazed out 
over the broad acres of Raffleshurst 
and noted how well I had fulfilled her 
orders. " Under proper direction you 
are a most able workman. Nothing 
could be better. Nothing absolutely 
nothing. And now for Mr. Carnegie." 
107 



Mrs. Raffles 

I still did not see how the thing was 
coming out, but such was my con- 
fidence in my leader that I had no 
misgivings. 

"Here is a letter from Mrs. Gaster 
introducing the Hon. Henry Hig- 
ginbotham, mayor of Raffleshurst, 
to Mr. Carnegie," said Henriette. 
"You will call at once on the iron- 
master. Present this letter, keeping 
in mind of course that you are your- 
self the Hon. Henry Higginbotham. 
Show him these photographs of the 
City Hall at Binghamton, of the public 
park at Oberlin, the high school at 
Oswego, the battery walk at Charles- 
ton and other public improvements of 
various other cities, when he asks you 
what sort of a place Raffleshurst is; 
then frankly and fearlessly put in your 
application for a one -hundred -and- 
fifty - thousand - dollar library. One 
picture this beautiful photograph of 
the music-hall at the St. Louis Ex- 
hibition you must seem to overlook 
1 08 



The Carnegie Library 

always, only contrive matters so that 
he will inquire what it is. You must 
then modestly remark that it is noth- 
ing but a little two - hundred - thou- 
sand-dollar art gallery you have your- 
self presented to the town. See?" 

"H'm yes, I see," said I. "But 
it is pretty risky business, Henriette. 
Suppose Mrs. Gaster asks for fur- 
ther information about Mayor Hig- 
ginbotham? I think it was unwise 
of you to connect her with the enter- 
prise." 

" Don't bother about that, Bunny. 
I wrote that letter of introduction 
I haven't studied penmanship for 
nothing, you know. Mrs. Gaster will 
never know. So just put on your 
boldest front, remember your name, 
and don't forget to be modest about 
your own two-hundred-thousand-dol- 
lar art gallery. That will inspire him, 
I think." 

It took me a week to get at the iron- 
master; but finally, thanks to Mrs. 
109 



Mrs. Raffles 

Gaster's letter of introduction, I suc- 
ceeded. Mr. Carnegie, was as always, 
in a most amiable frame of mind, and 
received me cordially, even when he 
discovered my real business with him. 

"I hadn't intended to give any 
more libraries this year," he said, as 
he glanced over the pictures. " I am 
giving away lakes now," he added. 
"If you wanted a lake, Mr. Higgin- 
botham, I " 

" We have such a large water-front 
already, Mr. Carnegie," said I, "and 
most of our residents are young 
married couples with children not 
over three and five. I am afraid they 
would regard a lake as a source of 
danger." 

"That's a pretty playground," he 
suggested, glancing at the Oberlin 
Park. "Somehow or other, it re- 
minds me of something." 

I thought it quite likely, but, of 
course, I didn't say so. I may be a 
fool but I have some tact, 
no 



The Carnegie Library 

" It's at the far corner of the park 
that we propose to put the library if 
you are good enough to let us have 
it," was all I ventured. 

" H 'm !" he mused. " Well, do you 
know, I like to help people who help 
themselves that's my system." 

I assured him that we of Raffles- 
hurst were accustomed to helping our- 
selves to everything we could lay our 
hands on, a jest which even though it 
was only too true seemed to strike 
him pleasantly. 

"What is that handsome structure 
you always pass over?" he asked, 
as I contrived to push the music- 
hall photograph aside for the fifth 
time. 

I laughed deprecatingly. "Oh, 
that," I said, modestly "that's only 
a little two-hundred-thousand-dollar 
music-hall and art gallery I have built 
for the town myself." 

Oh, that wonderful Henriette ! 
How did she know that generosity 
in 



Mrs. Raffles 

even among the overgenerous was in- 
fectious ? 

"Indeed!" said Mr. Carnegie, his 
face lighting up with real pleasure. 
"Well, Mr! Higginbotham, I guess 
I guess I'll do it. I can't be outdone 
in generosity by you, sir, and er 
I guess you can count on the li- 
brary. Do you think one hundred 
and fifty thousand .dollars will be 
enough?" 

"Well, of course " I began. 

"Why not make my contribution 
equal to yours and call it an even 
two hundred thousand dollars?" he 
interrupted. 

" You overwhelm me, " said I. " Of 
course, if you wish to " 

"And the Raffleshurst common 
council will appropriate five per cent, 
of that amount annually for its main- 
tenance?" he inquired. 

" Such a resolution has already been 
passed," said I, taking a paper from 
my pocket. " Here is the ordinance, 

112 



The Carnegie Library 

duly signed by myself as mayor and 
by the secretary of the council." 

Again that extraordinary woman, 
to provide me with so necessary a 
document ! 

The millionaire rose with alacrity 
and with his own hand drew me the 
required check. 

"Mr. Mayor," said he, "I like the 
quick, business-like way in which you 
do things. Pray present my com- 
pliments to the citizens of Raffles- 
hurst-by-the-Sea, and tell them I am 
only too glad to help them. If you 
ever want a lake, sir, don't fail to call 
upon me." With which gracious 
words the millionaire bowed me out. 

" Two hundred thousand dollars, 
Bunny?" cried Henriette when I 
handed her the check. 

"Yep," said I. 

"Well, that is a good day's sport!" 
she said, gazing at the slip. "Twice 
as much as I expected." 
"3 



Mrs. Raffles 

" Yes," said I. " But see here, Hen- 
riette, suppose Mr. Carnegie should 
go down to Raffleshurst to see the 
new building and find out what a 
bunco game we have played on him ?" 

" He's not likely to do that for two 
reasons, Bunny," she replied. "In 
the first place he suffers acutely from 
lumbago in winter and can't travel, 
and in the second place he'd have to 
find Raffleshurst -by -the -Sea before 
he could make the discovery that 
somebody 'd put up a game on him. 
I think by the time he is ready to 
start we can arrange matters to have 
Raffleshurst taken off the map." 

" Well, I think this is the cleverest 
trick you've turned yet, Henriette," 
said I. 

"Nonsense, Bunny, nonsense," she 
replied. "Any idiot can get a Car- 
negie library these days. That's why 
I put you on the job, dear," she added, 
affectionately. 



IX 

THE ADVENTURE OF THE HOLD-UP 

NOW that it is all over, I do not 
know whether she was really 
worn-out or by the expert use of 
powder gave to her cheeks the pallid 
look which bore out Mrs. Van Raf- 
fles's statement to me that she needed 
a rest. At any rate, one morning in 
mid-August, when the Newport sea- 
son was in full feather, Henriette, 
looking very pale and wan, tearfully 
confessed to me that business had got 
on her nerves and that she was going 
away to a rest-cure on the Hudson for 
ten days. 

" I just can't stand it for another 
minute, Bunny," she faltered, real 
tears coursing down her cheeks. "I 



Mrs. Raffles 

haven't slept a wink of natural sleep 
for five days, and yet when night 
comes it is all I can do to keep my 
eyes open. At the Rockerbilt ball 
last night I dozed off four times while 
talking with the Duchess of Snarleyow, 
and when the Chinese Ambassador 
asked me to sit out the gavotte with 
him I'm told I actually snored in his 
face. A woman who can't keep 
awake all night and sleep properly by 
day is not fit for Newport society, 
and I've simply got to go away and 
get my nerve back again." 

"You are very wise," I replied, 
" and I wholly approve of your course. 
There is no use of trying to do too 
much and you have begun to show 
the strain to which you have been 
subjecting yourself. Your failure last 
Friday night to land Mrs. Gollet's 
ruby 'dog - collar when her French 
poodle sat in your lap all through the 
Gaster musicale is evidence to me 
that your mind is not as alert as 
n6 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

usual. By all means, go away and 
rest up. I'll take care of things 
around here." 

"Thank you, dear," said she, with 
a grateful smile. "You need a 
change too, Bunny. What would you 
say if I sent all the servants away 
too, so that you could have a week 
of absolute tranquillity ? It must be 
awful for a man of your refined sen- 
sibilities to have to associate so con- 
stantly with the housemaids, the un- 
der-butlers and the footmen." 

" Nothing would please me better," 
I returned with alacrity; for, to tell 
the truth, society below stairs was 
rapidly becoming caviar to my taste. 
The housemaids were all right, and 
the under - butlers, being properly 
subject to my control, I could wither 
when they grew too familiar, but the 
footmen were intolerable guyers. On 
more than one occasion their quick 
Irish wit had put me to my trumps to 
maintain my dignity, and I had no- 
117 



Mrs. Raffles 

ticed of late that their alleged fun at 
my expense had made even the parlor- 
maid giggle in a most irritating fash- 
ion. Henriette's suggestion prom- 
ised at least a week's immunity from 
this sort of thing, and as far as re- 
maining alone in the beautiful Boli- 
var Lodge was concerned, to a man of 
my literary and artistic tastes nothing 
could be more desirable. 

" I can put in a week of solitude 
here very comfortably," said I. " The 
Constant-Scrappes have a very excel- 
lent library and a line of reading in 
Abstract Morals in full calf that I 
should very much like to get at." 

"So be it then," said Henriette, 
with a sigh of relief. " I will take my 
departure next Saturday after the 
Innit's clam - bake on Honk Island. 
The servants can go Saturday after- 
noon after the house has been put in 
order. You can order a fresh supply 
of champagne and cigars for yourself, 
and as for your meals " 
118 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

"Don't you bother about that," 
said I, with a laugh. "I lived for 
months on the chafing-dish before I 
found you again. And I rather think 
the change from game birds and pate 
de foie gras to simple eggs and bread 
and butter will do me good." 

And so the matter was arranged. 
The servants were notified that, 
owing to Mrs. Van Raffles's illness, 
they might take a vacation on full 
pay for ten days, and Henriette her- 
self prepared society for her departure 
by fainting twice at the Innit's clam- 
bake on Honk Island. 

No less a person than Mrs. Gaster 
herself brought her home at four 
o'clock in the morning and her last 
words were an exhortation to her 
"dear Mrs. Van Raffles" to be careful 
of herself "for all our sakes." Sat- 
urday morning Henriette departed. 
Saturday afternoon the servants fol- 
lowed suit, and I was alone in my 
glory and oh, how I revelled in it! 
119 



Mrs. Raffles 

The beauties of Bolivar Lodge had 
never so revealed themselves to me 
as then; the house as dark as the 
tomb without, thanks to the closing 
of the shutters and the drawing to 
of all the heavy portieres before the 
windows, but a blaze of light within 
from cellar to roof. I spent whole 
hours gloating over the treasures of 
that Monte - Cristan treasure - house, 
and all day Sunday and Monday I 
spent poring over the books in the li- 
brary, a marvellous collection, though 
for the most part wholly uncut. 

Everything moved along serenely 
until Wednesday afternoon, when I 
thought I heard a noise in the cellar, 
but investigation revealed the pres- 
ence of no one but a stray cat which 
miaowed up the cellar steps to me in 
response to my call of " Who's there." 
True, I did not go down to see if any 
one were there, not caring to involve 
myself in a personal encounter with 
a chance tramp who might have wan- 

120 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

dered in, in search of food. The sud- 
den materialization of the cat satis- 
factorily explained the noises, and I 
returned to the library to resume my 
reading of The Origin of the Decalogue 
where I had left off at the moment of 
the interruption. That evening I 
cooked myself a welsh- rabbit and at 
eight o'clock, arrayed in my pajamas, 
I returned to the library with a book, 
a bottle of champagne and a box of 
Vencedoras, prepared for a quiet 
evening of absolute luxury. I read 
in the waning light of the dying mid- 
summer day for a little while, and 
then, as darkness came on, I turned 
to the switch-board to light the elec- 
tric lamp. 

The lamp would not light. 

I pressed and pressed every button 
in the room, but with no better re- 
sults; and then, going through the 
house I tried every other button I 
could find, but everywhere conditions 
were the same. Apparently there was 

9 121 



Mrs. Raffles 

something the matter with the elec- 
trical service, a fact which I cursed, 
but not deeply, for it was a beautiful 
moonlight night and while of course I 
was disappointed in my reading, I 
realized that after all nothing could 
be pleasanter than to sit in the moon- 
light and smoke and quaff bumpers of 
champagne until the crack of doom. 
This I immediately proceeded to do, 
and kept at it pretty steadily until I 
should say about eleven o'clock, when 
I heard unmistakable signs of a large 
automobile coming up the drive. It 
chugged as far as the front-door and 
then stood panting like an impatient 
steam-engine, while the chauffeur, a 
person of medium height, well muf- 
fled in his automobile coat, his feat- 
ures concealed behind his goggles, 
and his mouth covered by his collar, 
rapped loudly on the front - door, 
once, then a second time. 

" Who the devil can this be at this 
hour of the night, I wonder," I mut- 

122 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

tered, as I responded to the sum- 
mons. 

If I sought the name I was not to 
be gratified, for the moment I opened 
the door I found two pistols levelled 
upon me, and two very determined 
eyes peering at me from behind the 
goggles. 

"Not a word, or I shoot," said the 
intruder in a gruff voice, evidently 
assumed, before I could get a word 
from my already somewhat cham- 
pagne-twisted tongue. " Lead me to 
the dining-room." 

Well, there I was. Defenceless, 
taken by surprise, unarmed, not too 
wide awake, comfortably filled with 
champagne and in no particularly 
fighting mood. What could I do but 
yield? To call for help would have 
brought at least two bullets crashing 
into my brain, even if any one could 
have heard my cries. To assault a 
scoundrel so well-armed would have 
been the height of folly, and to tell the 
123 



Mrs. Raffles 

truth so imbued was I with the politer 
spirit of the gentle art of house-break- 
ing that this sudden confrontation 
with the ruder, rough-house methods 
of the highwayman left me entirely 
unable to cope with the situation. 

"Certainly," said I, turning and 
ushering him down the hall to the 
great dining-room where the marvel- 
lous plate of the Constant - Scrappes 
shone effulgently upon the side-board 
or at least such of it as there was 
no room for in the massive safe. 

"Get me some rope," commanded 
the intruder. Still under the range 
of those dreadful pistols, I obeyed. 

"Sit down in that chair, and, by 
the leaping Gladstone, if you move an 
inch I'll blow your face off feature by 
feature," growled the intruder. 

"Who's moving?" I retorted, an- 
grily. 

" Well, see that whoever else is you 
are not," he retorted, winding the rope 
three times around my waist and 
124 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

fastening me securely to the back of 
the chair. "Now hold out your 
hands." 

I obeyed, and he bound them as 
tightly as though they were fastened 
together with rods of iron. A mo- 
ment later my feet and knees were 
similarly bound and I was as fast in 
the toils as Gulliver, when the Lili- 
putians fell upon him in his sleep and 
bound him to the earth. 

And then I was a mute witness 
to as keen and high - handed a per- 
formance as I ever witnessed. One 
by one every item of the Constant- 
Scrappe's silver service, valued at 
ninety thousand dollars, was re- 
moved from the sideboard and taken 
along the hall and placed in the 
tonneau of the automobile. Next the 
safe in which lay not only the famous 
gold service used only at the very 
swellest functions, said to have cost 
one hundred and seventy-five thou- 
sand dollars for the gold alone, to say 
125 



Mrs. Raffles 

nothing of the exquisite workman- 
ship, but it made me gnash my 
teeth in impotent rage to see it 
Henriette's own jewel-box containing 
a hundred thousand dollars worth of 
her own gems and some thirty thou- 
sand dollars in cash, was rifled of its 
contents and disposed of similarly to 
the silver in the gaping maw of that 
damned automobile tonneau. 

"Now," said the intruder, loosen- 
ing my feet and releasing me from the 
chair, " take me to my lady's boudoir. 
There is room in the car for a few 
more objects of virtu." 

I obeyed on the instant and a few 
moments later the scene of below- 
stairs was repeated, with me power- 
less to resist. Pictures, bric-a-brac, 
and other things to the tune of 
twenty thousand dollars more were 
removed, as calmly and as coolly as 
though there were no law against that 
sort of thing in the world. 

"There!" cried the highwayman, as 
126 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

he returned after the last item of his 
loot had been stowed away in the 
vehicle. " That '11 make an interest- 
ing tale for Friday morning's papers. 
It's the biggest haul I've made in 
forty- eight years. Good- night, sir. 
When I am safely out of town I'll 
telegraph the police to come and 
rescue you from your present awk- 
ward position. And let me tell you, 
if you give them the slightest hint of 
my personal appearance, by the hop- 
ping Harcourt, I'll come back and kill 
you. See?" 

And with that he made off, closing 
the door behind him, and a moment 
later I heard his infernal automobile 
chugging down the drive at full speed. 
Twelve hours later, in response to a 
long-distance telephone message from 
New York, the police came bounding 
around to the house, and found me 
tied up and unconscious. The high- 
wayman had at least been true to his 
word, and, as he had prophesied, the 
127 



Mrs. Raffles 

morning papers on Friday were full 
of the story of the most daring rob- 
bery of the century. Accurate stories 
in detail under huge scare-type head- 
lines appeared in all the papers, nar- 
rating* the losses of the Constant- 
Scrappes, as well as the rape of the 
jewels and money of Mrs. Van Raffles. 
The whole country rang with it, and 
the afternoon train brought not only 
detectives by the score, but the rep- 
resentative of the Constant-Scrappes 
and Henriette herself. She was high- 
ly hysterical over the loss not only 
of her own property but that of her 
landlord as well, but nobody blamed 
me. The testimony of the police as 
to my condition when found fully 
substantiated my story and was ac- 
cepted as ample evidence that I had 
no criminal connection with the rob- 
bery. This was a great relief to me, 
but it was greater when Henriette 
stroked my hand and called me " poor 
old Bunny," for I must say I was 
128 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

worried as to what she would think of 
me for having proven so poor a 
guardian of her property. 

Since then months have passed and 
not a vestige of the stolen property 
has been recovered. The Constant- 
Scrappes bore their loss with equa- 
nimity, as became them, since no one 
could have foreseen such a misfortune 
as overtook them; and as for Mrs. 
Van Raffles, she never mentioned the 
matter again to me, save once, and 
that set me to thinking. 

"He was a clever rascal you say, 
Bunny?" she asked one morning. 

"Yes," said I. "One of the best 
in the business, JJiancy." 

" A big fellow ?" She grinned with 
a queer smile. 

"Oh, about your height/' said I. 

"Well, by the hopping Harcourt," 
she retorted, quizzically, " if you give 
them the slightest hint of my personal 
appearance, I'll come back and kill 
you. See?" 

129 



Mrs. Raffles 

The man's very words! And then 
she laughed. 

" What ?" I cried. " It was you !" 

"Was it?" she returned, airily. 

"Why the devil you should go to 
all that trouble, when you had the 
stuff right here is what puzzles me," 
said I. 

"Oh, it wasn't any trouble," she 
replied. " Just sport you looked so 
funny sitting up there in your paja- 
mas; and, besides, a material fact 
such as that hold-up is apt to be more 
convincing to the police, to say noth- 
ing of the Constant - Scrappes, than 
any mere story we could invent." 

" Well, you'd better be careful, Hen- 
riette," I said witn a shiver. "The 
detectives are clever 

"True, Bunny," she answered, 
gravely. " But you see the highway- 
man was a man and well, I'm a 
woman, dear. I can prove an alibi. 
By-the-way, you left the cellar-door 
unlocked that Wednesday. I found 
130 



Adventure of the Hold-up 

it open when I sneaked in to cut off 
the electric lights. You mustn't be 
so careless, dear, or we may have to 
divvy up our spoil with others." 
Marvellous woman, that Henriette! 



X 



THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. SHADD's 
MUSICALE 

HENRIETTE was visibly angry 
the other morning when I took 
to her the early mail and she dis- 
covered that Mrs. Van Varick Shadd 
had got ahead of her in the matter 
of Jockobinski, the monkey virtuoso. 
Society had been very much interest- 
ed in the reported arrival in America 
of this wonderfully talented simian 
who could play the violin as well as 
Ysaye, and who as a performer on 
the piano was vastly the superior of 
Paderewski, because, taken in his 
infancy and specially trained for the 
purpose, he could play with his feet 
and tail as well as with his hands. It 
132 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

had been reported by Tommy Dare, 
the leading Newport authority on 
monkeys, that he had heard him play 
Brahm's "Variations on Paganini " 
with his paws on a piano, "Hiawa- 
tha " on a xylophone with his feet, 
and "Home, Sweet Home" with his 
tail on a harp simultaneously, in 
Paris a year ago, and that alongside 
of Jockobinski all other musical prod- 
igies of the age became mere strum- 
mers. 

"He's a whole orchestra in him- 
self," said Tommy enthusiastically, 
" and is the only living creature that I 
know of who can tackle a whole sym- 
phony without the aid of a hired 
man." 

Of course society was on the qui 
vive for a genius of so riotous an order 
as this, and all the wealthy families of 
Newport vied with one another for the 
privilege of being first to welcome him 
to our shores, not because he was a 
freak, mind you, but "for art's sweet 
133 



Mrs. Raffles 

sake." Mrs. Gushington - Andrews 
offered twenty -five hundred dollars 
for him as a week-end guest, and Mrs. 
Gaster immediately went her bid a 
hundred per cent, better. Henriette, 
in order to outdo every one else, 
promptly put in a bid of ten thou- 
sand dollars for a single evening, and 
had supposed the bargain closed when 
along came Mrs. Shadd's cards an- 
nouncing that she would be pleased to 
have Mrs. Van Raffles at Onyx House 
on Friday evening, August 27th, to 
meet Herr Jockobinski, the eminent 
virtuoso. 

"It's very annoying," said Hen- 
riette, as she opened and read the in- 
vitation. " I had quite set my heart 
on having Jockobinski here. Not that 
I care particularly about the music 
end of it, but because there is noth- 
ing that gives a woman so assured a 
social position as being the hostess 
of an animal of his particular kind. 
You remember, Bunny, how com- 
J34 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

pletely Mrs. Shadd wrested the lead- 
ership from Mrs. Gaster two seasons 
ago with her orang outang dinner, 
don't you?" 

I confessed to having read some- 
thing about such an incident in high 
society. * 

" Well," said Henriette, " this would 
have thrown that little episode wholly 
in the shade. Of course Mrs. Shadd 
is doing this to retain her grip, but 
it irritates me more than I can say 
to have her get it just the same. 
Heaven knows I was willing to pay 
for it if I had to abscond with a na- 
tional bank to get the money." 

"It isn't too late, is it?" I queried. 

"Not too late?" echoed Henriette. 
" Not too late with Mrs. Shadd's cards 
out and the whole thing published in 
the papers?" 

" It's never too late for a woman of 
your resources to do anything she has 
a mind to do," said I. "It seems to 
me that a person who could swipe a 



Mrs. Raffles 

Carnegie library the way you did 
should have little difficulty in lifting 
a musicale. Of course I don't know 
how you could do it, but with your 
mind well, I should be surprised 
and disappointed if you couldn't de- 
vise some plan to accomplish your 
desires." 

Henriette was silent for a moment, 
and then her face lit up with one of 
her most charming smiles. 

" Bunny, do you know that at 
times, in spite of your supreme stu- 
pidity, you are a source of positive 
inspiration to me?" she said, looking 
at me, fondly, I ventured to think. 

"I am glad if it is so," said I. 
" Sometimes, dear Henriette, you will 
find the most beautiful flowers grow- 
ing out of the blackest mud. Per- 
haps hid in the dull residuum of my 
poor but honest gray matter lies the 
seed of real genius that will sprout the 
loveliest blossoms of achievement." 

"Well, anyhow, dear, you have 
136 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

started me thinking, and maybe we'll 
have Jockobinski at Bolivar Lodge 
yet," she murmured. "I want to 
have him first, of course, or not at all. 
To be second in doing a thing of that 
kind is worse than never doing it at 
all." 

Days went by and not another 
word was spoken on the subject of 
Jockobinski and the musicale, and I 
began to feel that at last Henriette 
had reached the end of her ingenuity 
though for my own part I could not 
blame her if she failed to find some 
plausible way out of her disappoint- 
ment. Wednesday night came, and, 
consumed by curiosity to learn just 
how the matter stood, I attempted to 
sound Henriette on the subject. 

" I should like Friday evening off, 
Mrs. Van Raffles," said I. "If you 
are going to Mrs. Shadd's musicale 
you will have no use for me." 

"Shut up, Bunny," she returned, 
abruptly. " I shall need you Friday 



Mrs. Raffles 

night more than ever before. Just 
take this note over to Mrs. Shadd this 
evening and leave it mind you, don't 
wait for an answer but just leave it, 
that's all." 

She arose from the table and hand- 
ed me a daintily scented missive 
addressed to Mrs. Shadd, and I faith- 
fully executed her errand. Bunder- 
by, the Shadd's butler, endeavored to 
persuade me to wait for an answer, 
but assuring him that I wasn't aware 
that an answer was expected I re- 
turned to Bolivar Lodge. An hour 
later Bunderby appeared at the back 
door and handed me a note addressed 
to my mistress, which I immediately 
delivered. 

"Is Bunderby waiting?" asked 
Henriette as she read the note. 

"Yes," I answered. 

"Tell him to hand this to Mrs. 

Shadd the very first thing upon her 

return to-morrow evening," she said, 

hastily scribbling off a note and 

138 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

putting it in an envelope, which by 
chance she left unsealed, so that on 
my way back below-stairs I was able 
to read it. What it said was that she 
would be only too happy to oblige 
Mrs. Shadd, and was very sorry indeed 
to hear that her son had been injured 
in an automobile accident while run- 
ning into Boston from Bar Har- 
bor. It closed with the line, "you 
must know, my dear Pauline, that 
there isn't anything I wouldn't 
do for you, come weal or come 
woe." 

This I handed to Bunderby and he 
made off. On my return Henriette 
was dressed for travel. 

" I must take the first train for New 
York," she said, excitedly. "You 
will have the music-room prepared at 
once, Bunny. Mrs. Shadd's musicale 
will be given here. I am going my- 
self to make all the necessary ar- 
rangements at the New York end. 
All you have to do is to get things 



Mrs. Raffles 

ready and rely on your ignorance for 
everything else. See?" 

I could only reflect that if a success- 
ful issue were dependent upon my 
ignorance I had a plentiful supply of 
it to fall back on. Henriette made 
off at once for Providence by motor- 
car, and got the midnight train out of 
Boston for the city where, from what 
I learned afterwards, she must have 
put in a strenuous day on Thursday. 
At any rate, a great sensation was 
sprung on Newport on Friday morn- 
ing. Every member of the smart set 
in the ten -o'clock mail received a 
little engraved card stating that owing 
to sudden illness in the Shadd family 
the Shadd musicale for that evening 
would be held at Bolivar Lodge in- 
stead of in the Onyx House ballroom. 
Friday afternoon Jockobinski's pri- 
vate and particular piano arrived at 
the Lodge and was set up promptly 
in the music-room, and later when 
the caterers arrived with the supper 
140 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

for the four hundred odd guests bid- 
den to the feast all was in readiness 
for them. Everything was running 
smoothly, and, although Henriette 
had not yet arrived, I felt easy and 
secure of mind until nearing five- 
thirty o'clock when Mrs. Shadd her- 
self drove up to the front-door. Her 
color was unusually high, and had 
she been any but a lady of the grande 
monde I should have said that she was 
flustered. 

She demanded rather than asked 
to see my mistress, with a hauteur 
born of the arctic snow. 

"Mrs. Van Raffles went to New 
York Wednesday evening," said I, 
" and has not yet returned. I am ex- 
pecting her every minute, madame. 
She must be here for the musicale. 
Won't you wait?" 

" Indeed I will," said she, abruptly. 

"The musicale, indeed! Humph!" 

And she plumped herself down in one 

of the drawing-room chairs so hard 

141 



Mrs. Raffles 

that it was as much as I could do to 
keep from showing some very un- 
butlerian concern for the safety of 
the furniture. 

I must say I did not envy Henriette 
the meeting that was in prospect, for 
it was quite evident that Mrs. Shadd 
was mad all through. In spite of my 
stupidity I rather thought I could 
divine the cause too. She was not 
kept long in waiting, for ten minutes 
later the automobile, with Henriette 
in it, came thundering up the drive. 
I tried as I let her in to give her a 
hint of what awaited her, but Mrs. 
Shadd forestalled me, only however 
to be forestalled herself. 

"Oh, my dear Pauline!" Henriette 
cried, as she espied her waiting vis- 
itor. "It is so good of you to come 
over. I'm pretty well fagged out 
with all the arrangements for the 
night and I do hope your son is 
better." 

" My son is not ill, Mrs. Van Raf- 
142 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

fles," said Mrs. Shadd, coldly. " I 
have come to ask you what " 

"Not ill?" cried Henriette, in- 
terrupting her. "Not ill, Pauline? 
Why," breathlessly " that's the 
most extraordinary thing I ever heard 
of. Why am / giving the musicale 
to-night then, instead of you?" 

"That is precisely what I have 
come to find out," said Mrs. Shadd. 

"Why well, of all queer things," 
said Henriette, flopping down in a 
chair. "Surely, you got my note 
saying that I would let Jockobinski 
play here to-night instead of " 

" I did receive a very peculiar note 
from you saying that you would 
gladly do as I wished," said Mrs. 
Shadd, beginning herself to look less 
angry and more puzzled. 

" In reply to your note of Wednes- 
day evening," said Henriette. "Cer- 
tainly you wrote to me Wednesday 
evening? It was delivered by your 
own man, Blunderby I think his 



Mrs. Raffles 

name is ? About half - past seven 
o'clock it was Wednesday." 

"Yes, Bunderby, did carry a note 
to you from me on Wednesday," said 
Mrs. Shadd. " But" 

" And in it you said that you were 
called to Boston by an accident to 
your son Willie in his automobile: 
that you might not be able to get 
back in time for to-night's affair and 
wouldn't I take it over," protested 
Mrs. Van Raffles, vehemently. 

"I?" said Mrs. Shadd, showing 
more surprise than was compatible 
with her high social position. 

"And attend to all the details 
your very words, my dear Pauline," 
said Henriette, with an admirably 
timed break in her voice. "And I 
did, and / told you I would. I im- 
mediately put on my travelling gown, 
motored to Providence, had an all- 
night ride to New York on a very 
uncomfortable sleeper, went at once 
to Herr Jockobinski's agent and ar- 
144 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

ranged the change, notified Sherry to 
send the supper to my house instead 
of yours, drove to Tiffany's and had 
the cards rushed through and mailed 
to everybody on your list you know 
you kindly gave me your list when I 
first came to Newport and attended 
to the whole thing, and now I come 
back to find it all a er a mistake! 
Why, Pauline, it's positively awful! 
What can we do?" 

Henriette was a perfect picture of 
despair. " I don't suppose we can 
do anything now," said Mrs. Shadd, 
ruefully. "It's too late. The cards 
have gone to everybody. You have 
all the supper not a sandwich 
has come to my house and I 
presume all of Mr. Jockobinski's 
instruments as well have come 
here." 

Henriette turned to me. 

"All, madame," said I, briefly. 

"Well," said Mrs. Shadd, tapping 
the floor nervously with her toe. " I 
MS 



Mrs. Raffles 

don't understand it. / never wrote 
that note." 

"Oh, but Mrs. Shadd I have it 
here," said Henriette, opening her 
purse and extracting the paper. " You 
can read it for yourself. What else 
could I do after that?" 

Innocence on a monument could 
have appeared no freer of guile than 
Henriette at that moment. She 
handed the note to Mrs. Shadd, who 
perused it with growing amazement. 

" Isn't that your handwriting and 
your crest and your paper?" asked 
Henriette, appealingly. 

"It certainly looks like it," said 
Mrs. Shadd. "If I didn't know I 
l^adn^t written it I would have sworn 
I had. Where could it have come 
from?" 

" I supposed it came from Onyx 
House," said Henriette simply, glanc- 
ing at the envelope. 

"Well it's a very mysterious af- 
fair," said Mrs. Shadd, rising, "and 
146 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

I oh, well, my dear woman, I I 
can't blame you indeed, after all 
you have done I ought to be and 
really am very much obliged to 
you. Only " 

"Whom did you have at dinner 
Wednesday night, dear?" asked Hen- 
riette. 

"Only the Duke and Duchess of 
Snarleyow and mercy! I wonder if 
he could have done it!" 

"Who?" asked Henriette. 

"Tommy Dare!" ejaculated Mrs. 
Shadd, her eyes beginning to twinkle. 
" Do you suppose this is one of 
Tommy Dare's jokes?" 

" H'm!" mused Henriette, and then 
she laughed. " It wouldn't be unlike 
him, would it?" 

" Not a bit, the naughty boy !" cried 
Mrs. Shadd. "That's it, Mrs. Van 
Raffles, as certainly as we stand here. 
Suppose, just to worry him, we never 
let on that anything out of the ordi- 
nary has happened, eh?" 
i47 



Mrs. Raffles 

"Splendid!" said Henrietta, with 
enthusiasm. " Let's act as if all 
turned out just as we expected, and, 
best of all, never even mention it to 
him, or to Bunderby his confederate, 
neither of us, eh?" 

"Never!" said Mrs. Shadd, rising 
and kissing Henriette good - bye. 
"That's the best way out of it. If 
we did we'd be the laughing-stock of 
all Newport. But some day in the 
distant future Tommy Dare would 
better look out for Pauline Shadd, 
Mrs. Van Raffles." 

And so it was agreed, and Henri- 
ette successfully landed Mrs. Shadd 's 
musicale. 

Incidentally, Jockobinski was very 
affable and the function went off well. 
Everybody was there and no one 
would for a moment have thought 
that there was anything strange in 
the transfer of the scene from Onyx 
House to Bolivar Lodge. 

" Who wrote that letter, Henriette ?" 
148 



Mrs. Shadd's Musicale 

I ashed late in the evening when the 
last guest had gone. 

" Who do you suppose, Bunny, my 
boy?" she asked with a grin. "Bun- 
derby?" 

"No," said I. 

"You've guessed right," said Hen- 
riette. 

As a postscript let me say that until 
he reads this I don't believe Tommy 
Dare ever guessed what a successful 
joke he perpetrated upon Mrs. Shadd 
and the fair Henriette. Even then I 
doubt if he realizes what a good one 
it was on everybody. 



XI 

THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. INNITT's 
COOK 

"IT is curious, Bunny," said Hen- 
1 riette the other morning after an 
unusually late breakfast, " to observe 
by what qualities certain of these 
Newport families have arrived, as the 
saying is. The Casters of course 
belong at the top by patent right. 
Having invented American society, 
or at least the machine that at present 
controls it, they are entitled to all the 
royalties it brings in. The Rocker- 
bilts got there all of a sudden by the 
sheer lavishness of their entertain- 
ment and their ability to give bonds 
to keep it up. The Van Varick 
Shadds flowed in through their un- 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

questioned affiliation with the ever- 
popular Delaware Shadds and the 
Roe-Shadds of the Hudson, two of 
the oldest and most respected fami- 
lies of the United States, reinforced 
by the Napoleonic qualities of the 
present Mrs. Shadd in the doing of un- 
expected things. The Gullets, thanks 
to the fact that Mrs. Gullet is the 
acknowledged mother-in-law of three 
British dukes, two Italian counts, and 
a French marquis, are safely anchored 
in the social haven where they would 
be, and the rumor that Mrs. Gushing- 
ton-Andrews has written a book that 
is a trifle risque fixes her firmly in the 
social constellation but the Innitts 
with only eighty thousand dollars per 
annum, the Dedbroke - Hickses with 
noting a year, the Oliver-Sloshing- 
tons with an income of judgments, the 
study of their arrival is mighty inter- 
esting." 

"It doesn't interest me much," 
quoth I. " Indeed, this American 



Mrs. Raffles 

smart set don't appeal to me either 
for its smartness or its setness." 

"Bunny!" cried Henriette, with a 
silvery ripple of laughter. "Do be 
careful. An epigram from you? My 
dear boy, you'll be down with brain- 
fever if you don't watch out." 

"Humph!" said I, with a shrug of 
my shoulders. " Neither you nor my 
dear old friend Raffles ever gave me 
credit for any brains. I have a few, 
however, which I use when occasion 
demands," I drawled. 

"Well, don't waste them here, 
Bunny," laughed Henriette. "Save 
'em for some place where they'll be 
appreciated. Maybe in your old age 
you'll be back in dear old London 
contributing to Punch if you are 
careful of your wits. But how do 
you suppose the Oliver-Sloshingtons 
ever got in here ?" 

" He holds the divorce record I be- 
lieve," said I. " He's been married to 
four social leaders already, hasn't he ?" 
152 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

"Yes" 

"Well, he got into the swim with 
each marriage so he's got a four-ply 
grip," said I. 

" And the Dedbroke-Hickses ?" ask- 
ed Henriette. " How do you account 
for them?" 

"Most attractive diners and week- 
enders," said I. "They got all the 
laughs at your dinner to the Arch- 
bishop of Decanterbury, and their man 
Smathers tells me they're the swellest 
things going at week-end parties be- 
cause of his ingenuity at cotillion lead- 
ing and her undeniable charms as a 
flirt. By Jove! she's that easy with 
men that even I tremble with anxiety 
whenever she comes into the house." 

" But how do they live ? they 
haven't a cent to their names," said 
Henriette. 

"Simplicity itself," said I. "He 
is dressed by his tailors and she by her 
dressmaker ; and as for food, they take 
home a suit-case full of it from every 



Mrs. Raffles 

house-party they attend. They're so 
gracious to the servants that they 
don't have to think of tips ; and as for 
Smathers, and Mrs. Dedbroke-Hicks's 
maid, they're paid reporters on the 
staff of The Town Tattler and are will- 
ing to serve for nothing for the op- 
portunities for items the connection 
gives them." 

"Well I don't envy them in the 
least," said Henriette. " Poor things 
to be always taking and never giv- 
ing must be an awful strain, though 
to be sure their little trolley party 
out to Tiverton and back was de- 
lightful" 

"Exactly; and with car-fare and 
sandwiches, and the champagne sup- 
plied free by the importers, for the 
advertisement, it cost them exactly 
twelve dollars and was set down as 
the j oiliest affair of the season," said 
I. "I call that genius of a pretty 
high order. I wouldn't pity them if 
I were you. They're happy." 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

"Mrs. Innitt, though I envy her," 
said Henriette; "that is, in a way. 
She has no conversation at all, but 
her little dinners are the swellest 
things of the season. Never more 
than ten people at a time and every- 
thing cooked to a turn." 

"That's just it," said I. "I hear 
enough at the club to know just what 
cinches Mrs. Innitt's position. It's 
her cook, that's what does it. If she 
lost her cook she'd be Mrs. Outofit. 
There never were such pancakes, such 
purees, such made dishes as that 
woman gets up. She turns hash into 
a confection and liver and bacon into 
a delicacy. Corned-beef in her hands 
is a discovery and her sauces are such 
that a bit of roast rhinoceros hide 
tastes like the tenderest of squab 
when served by her. No wonder Mrs. 
Innitt holds her own. A woman with 
a cook like Norah Sullivan could rule 
an empire." 

A moment later I was sorry I had 



Mrs. Raffles 

spoken, for my words electrified 
her. 

"/ must have her!" cried Henriette. 

" What, Mrs. Innitt ?" I asked. 

" No her cook," said Henriette. 

I stood aghast. Full of sympathy 
as I had always been with the proj- 
ects of Mrs. Van Raffles, and never in 
the least objecting on moral grounds 
to any of her schemes of acquisition, 
I could not but think that this time 
she proposed to go too far. To rob a 
millionaire of his bonds, a national 
bank of its surplus, a philanthropist 
of a library, or a Metropolitan Box- 
holder of a diamond stomacher, all 
that seemed reasonable to me and 
proper according to my way of look- 
ing at it, but to rob a neighbor of her 
cook if there is any worse social 
crime than that I don't know what 
it is." 

"You'd better think twice on that 
proposition, Henriette," I advised 
with a gloomy shake of the head. " It 
156 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

is not only a mean crime, but a dan- 
gerous one to boot. Success would 
in itself bring ruin. Mrs. Innitt would 
never forgive you, and society at 
large 

"Society at large would dine with 
me instead of with Mrs. Innitt, that's 
all," said Henriette. "I mean to 
have her before the season's over." 

" Well, I draw the line at stealing a 
cook," said I, coldly. "I've robbed 
churches and I've made way with 
fresh-air funds, and I've helped you in 
many another legitimate scheme, but 
in this, Mrs. Van Raffles, you'll have 
to go it alone." 

"Oh, don't you be afraid, Bunny," 
she answered. "I'm not going to use 
your charms as a bait to lure this 
culinary Phyllis into the Arcadia in 
which you with your Strephonlike 
form disport yourself." 

" You oughtn't to do it at all," said 
I, gruffly. " It's worse than murder, 
for it is prohibited twice in the dec- 
157 



Mrs. Raffles 

alogue, while murder is only men- 
tioned once." 

" What !" cried Henriette. " What, 
pray, does the decalogue say about 
cooks, I'd like to know?" 

"First, thou shalt not steal. You 
propose to steal this woman. Second, 
thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's 
maid-servant. How many times does 
that make?" I asked. 

"Dear me, Bunny," said Henriette, 
"but you are a little tuppenny Puri- 
tan, aren't you? Anybody 'd know 
you were the son of a clergyman! 
Well, let me tell you, I sha'n't steal 
the woman, and I sha'n't covet her. 
I'm just going to get her, that's all." 

It was two weeks later that Norah 
Sullivan left the employ of Mrs. Innitt 
and was installed in our kitchen ; and, 
strange to relate, she came as a mat- 
ter of charity on Henriette's part 
having been discharged by Mrs. Innitt. 

The Friday before Norah's arrival 
Henriette requested me to get her a 
158 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

rusty nail, a piece of gravel from the 
drive, two hair-pins, and a steel nut 
from the automobile. 

"What on earth ' I began, but 
she shut me off with an imperious 
gesture. 

" Do as I tell you," she commanded. 
"You are not in on this venture." 
And then apparently she relented. 
" But I'm willing to tell you just one 
thing, Bunny" here her eyes began 
to twinkle joyously "I'm going to 
Mrs. Innitt's to dinner to - morrow 
night so look out for Norah by 
Monday." 

I turned sulkily away. 

"You know how I feel on that 
subject," said I. "This business of 
going into another person's house as 
a guest and inducing their servants 
to leave is an infraction of the laws 
of hospitality. How would you like 
it if Mrs. Gaster stole me away from 
you?" 

Henriette's answer was a puzzling 



Mrs. Raffles 

smile. "You are free to better your 
condition, Bunny," she said. "But 
I am not going to rob Mrs. Innitt, as 
I told you once before. She will dis- 
charge Norah and I will take her, 
that's all; so do be a good boy and 
bring me the nail and gravel and the 
hair-pins and the automobile nut." 

I secured the desired articles for 
my mistress, and the next evening 
she went to Mrs. Innitt 's little dinner 
to Miss Gullet and her fiance, Lord 
Dullpate, eldest son of the Duke of 
Lackshingles, who had come over to 
America to avoid the scrutiny of the 
Bankruptcy Court, taking the absurd 
objects with her. Upon her return 
at 2 A.M. she was radiant and trium- 
phant. 

"I won out, Bunny I won out!" 
she cried. 

"How?" I inquired. 

" Mrs. Innitt has discharged Norah, 
though I begged her not to," she 
fairly sang. 

1 60 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

"On what grounds?" 

"Several," said Henriette, unfast- 
ening her glove. "To begin with, 
there was a rusty nail in my clam 
cocktail, and it nearly choked me to 
death. I tried hard to keep Mrs. 
Innitt from seeing what had happen- 
ed, but she is watchful if not brainy, 
and all my efforts went for naught. 
She was much mortified of course and 
apologized profusely. All went well 
until the fish, when one of the two 
hair-pins turned up in the pompano 
to the supreme disgust of my hostess, 
who was now beginning to look wor- 
ried. Hair-pin number two made its 
debut in my timbale. This was too 
much for the watchful Mrs. Innitt, 
self-poised though she always is, and 
despite my remonstrances she excused 
herself from the table for a moment, 
and I judge from the flushed appear- 
ance of her cheeks when she returned 
five minutes later that somebody had 
had the riot act read to her somewhere. 
161 



Mrs. Raffles 

" ' I don't understand it at all, Mrs. 
Van Raffles,' she said with a sheepish 
smile. 'Cook 's perfectly sober. If 
anything of the kind ever happens 
again she shall go." : 

" Even as Mrs. Innitt spoke I con- 
veyed a luscious morsel of filet mig- 
non with mushrooms to my mouth 
and nearly broke my tooth on a piece 
of gravel that went with it, and Norah 
was doomed, for although we all 
laughed heartily, the thing had come 
to be such a joke, it was plain from 
the expression of Mrs. Innitt's coun- 
tenance that she was very, very 
angry. 

" ' Forgive her this time for my sake, 
Mrs. Innitt/ I pleaded. 'After all it 
is the little surprises that give zest 
to life.'" 

"And you didn't have to use the 
automobile nut?" I asked, deeply im- 
pressed with the woman's ingenuity. 

"Oh yes," said Henriette. "As 
dinner progressed I thought it wise to 
162 




ON HER WAY TO EARLY CHURCH I WAYLAID NORAH' 



Mrs. Innitt's Cook 

use it to keep Mrs. Innitt from weak- 
ening; so when the salad was passed 
I managed, without anybody's ob- 
serving it, to drop the automobile 
nut into the bowl. The Duke of 
Snarleyow got it and the climax was 
capped. Mrs. Innitt burst into a flood 
of tears and well, to-morrow, Bunny, 
Norah leaves. You will take her this 
ten-dollar bill from me, and tell her 
that I am sorry she got into so much 
trouble on my account. Say that if 
I can be of any assistance to her all 
she has to do is to call here and I will 
do what I can to get her another 
place." 

With this Henriette retired and 
the next morning on her way to early 
church I waylaid Norah. Her eyes 
were red with weeping, but a more in- 
dignant woman never lived. Her dis- 
charge was unrighteous; Mrs. Innitt 
was no lady ; the butler was in a con- 
spiracy to ruin her and all that; in- 
deed, her mood was most receptive to 
163 



Mrs. Raffles 

coined into silver, placed on top of 
one another, would form a bullion 
tower that would reach higher into 
the air than fifteen superimposed 
domes of St. Peter's placed on top 
of seventeen spires of Trinity on the 
summit of Mont Blanc. In five- 
pound notes laid side by side they'd 
suffice to paper every scrap of bed- 
room wall in all the Astor houses in 
the world, and invested in Amalga- 
mated Copper they would turn the 
system green with envy and yet I am 
not happy. My well-beloved Hen- 
riette's last adventure has turned my 
fortune into bitterest gall, and plain 
unvarnished wormwood forms the fin- 
ish of my interior, for she is gone ! I, 
amid the splendor of my new-found 
possessions, able to keep not one but 
a hundred motor-cars, and to pay the 
chauffeur's fines, to endow chairs in 
universities, to build libraries in every 
hamlet in the land from Podunk to 
Richard Mansfield, to eat three meals 
166 



The Last Adventure 

a day and lodge at the St. Regicide, 
and to evade my taxes without excit- 
ing suspicion, am desolate and forlorn, 
for, I repeat, Henriette has gone ! The 
very nature of her last adventure by 
a successful issue has blown out the 
light of my life. 

She has stolen Constant-Scrappe! 

If I could be light of heart in this 
tragic hour I would call this story the 
Adventure of the Lifted Fiance", but 
that would be so out of key with my 
emotions that I cannot bring myself 
to do it. I must content myself with 
a narration of the simple facts of the 
lengths to which my beloved's am- 
bition led her, without frivolity and 
with a heavy heart. 

Of course you know what all New- 
port has known for months, that the 
Constant - Scrappes were seeking di- 
vorce, not that they loved one an- 
other less, but that both parties to the 
South Dakota suit loved some one 
else more. Colonel Scrappe had long 
167 



Mrs. Raffles 

been the most ardent admirer of Mrs. 
Gushington - Andrews, and Mrs. Con- 
stant - Scrappe's devotion to young 
Harry de Lakwitz had been at least 
for two seasons evident to any ob- 
server with half an eye. Gushington- 
Andrews had considerately taken 
himself out of the way by eloping to 
South Africa with Tottie Dimpleton 
of the Frivolity Burlesquers, and 
Harry de Lakwitz's only recorded 
marriage had been annulled by the 
courts because at the time of his 
wedding to the forty -year-old house- 
maid of the Belleville Boarding-School 
for Boys at Skidgeway, Rhode Island, 
he was only fifteen years of age. Con- 
sequently, they both were eligible, 
and provided the Constant-Scrappes 
could be so operated on by the laws 
of South Dakota as to free them from 
one another, there were no valid rea- 
sons why the yearnings of these ardent 
souls should not all be gratified. In- 
deed, both engagements had been 
168 



The Last Adventure 

announced tentatively, and only the 
signing of the decree releasing the 
Constant-Scrappes from their obliga- 
tions to one another now stood in the 
way of two nuptial ceremonies which 
would make four hearts beat as one. 
Mrs. Gushington- Andrews 's trousseau 
was ready, and that of the future Mrs. 
de Lakwitz had been ordered; both 
ladies had received their engagement 
rings when that inscrutable Henriette 
marked Constant- Scrappe for her own. 
Colonel Scrappe had returned from 
Monte Carlo, having broken the bank 
twice, and Henriette had met him at a 
little dinner given in his honor by Mrs. 
Gushington- Andrews. He turned out 
to be a most charming man, and it 
didn't require a much more keen per- 
ception than my own to take in the 
fact that he had made a great im- 
pression upon Henriette, though she 
never mentioned it to me until the 
final blow came. I merely noticed a 
growing preoccupation in her manner 

ia 169 



Mrs. Raffles 

and in her attitude towards me, which 
changed perceptibly. 

"I think, Bunny," she said to me 
one morning as I brought her marma- 
lade and toast, "that considering our 
relations to each other you should 
not call me Henriette. After all, you 
know, you are here primarily as my 
butler, and there are some proprieties 
that should be observed even in this 
Newport atmosphere." 

" But," I protested, " am I no more 
than that ? I am your partner, am I 
not?" 

"You are my business partner 
not my social, Bunny," she said. " We 
must not mix society and business. 
In this house I am mistress of the 
situation ; you are the butler that is 
the precise condition, and I think it 
well that hereafter you should rec- 
ognize the real truth and avoid over- 
familiarity by addressing me as Mrs. 
Van Raffles. If we should ever open 
an office for our Burglary Company in 
170 



The Last Adventure 

New York or elsewhere you may call 
me anything you please there. Here, 
however, you must be governed by 
the etiquette of your environment. 
Let it be Mrs. Van Raffles hereafter." 

" And is it to be Mr. Bunny ?" I in- 
quired, sarcastically. 

Her response was a cold glance of 
the eye and a majestic sweep from the 
room. 

That evening Colonel Scrappe call- 
ed, ostensibly to look over the house 
and as landlord to see if there was 
anything he could do to make it more 
comfortable, and I, blind fool that I 
was for the moment, believed that 
that was his real errand, and ventured 
to remind Henriette of the leak in the 
roof, at which they both, I thought, 
exchanged amused glances, and he 
gravely mounted the stairs to the top 
of the house to look at it. On our 
return, Henriette dismissed me and 
told me that she would not require 
my services again during the evening. 
171 



Mrs. Raffles 

Even then my suspicions were not 
aroused, although there was a dull, dis- 
turbed feeling about my heart whose 
precise causes I could not define. I 
went to the club and put in a miser- 
able evening, returning home about 
midnight to discover that Colonel 
Scrappe was still there. He was ap- 
parently giving the house and its 
contents a thorough inspection, for 
when I arrived, Henriette was testing 
the fifty-thousand-dollar piano in the 
drawing-room for him with a brilliant 
rendering of "O Promise Me." What 
decision they reached as to its tone 
and quality I never knew, for in spite 
of my hints on the subject, Henriette 
never spoke of the matter to me. I 
suppose I should have begun to guess 
what was happening under my very 
nose then, but thank Heaven I am not 
of a suspicious nature, and although 
I didn't like the looks of things, the in- 
evitable meaning of their strange be- 
havior never even dawned upon my 
172 



The Last Adventure 
I 

mind. Even when two nights later 
Colonel Scrappe escorted Henriette 
home at midnight from a lecture on 
the Inscrutability of Sartor Resartus 
at Mrs. Gushington-Andrews's it did 
not strike me as unusual, although, 
instead of going home immediately, 
as most escorts do under the circum- 
stances, he remained about two hours 
testing that infernal piano again, and 
with the same old tune. 

Then the automobile rides began, 
and pretty nearly every morning, 
long before polite society was awake, 
Colonel Scrappe and Henriette took 
long runs together through the coun- 
try in her Mercedes machine, for 
what purpose I never knew, for what- 
ever interest the colonel might have 
had in our welfare as a landlord I 
could not for the life of me guess how 
it could be extended to our auto- 
mobiles. One thing I did notice, 
however, was a growing coldness be- 
tween Henriette and Mrs. Gushing- 



Mrs. Raffles 

% 

ton- Andrews. The latter came to a 
card-party at Bolivar Lodge one after- 
noon about two weeks after Colonel 
Scrappe's return, and her greeting 
to her hostess instead of having the 
old-time effusiveness was frigid to a 
degree. In fact, when they clasped 
hands I doubt if more than the tips 
of their fingers touched. Moreover, 
Mrs. Gushington - Andrews, hitherto 
considered one of the best fists at 
bridge or hearts in the 400, actually 
won the booby prize, which I saw her 
throw into the street when she de- 
parted. It was evident something had 
happened to disturb her equanimity. 
My eyes were finally opened by a 
remark made at the club by Digby, 
Reggie de Pelt's valet, who asked 
me how I liked my new boss, and 
whose explanation of the question 
led to a complete revelation of the 
true facts in the case. Everybody 
knew, he said, that from the moment 
she had met him Mrs. Van Raffles had 



The Last Adventure 

set her cap for Colonel Scrappe, and 
that meeting her for the first time 
he had fallen head over heels in love 
with her even in the presence of his 
fiance'e. Of course I hotly denied 
Digby's insinuations, and we got so 
warm over the discussion that when I 
returned home that night I had two 
badly discolored eyes, and Digby 
well, Digby didn't go home at all. 
Both of us were suspended from the 
Gentleman's Gentleman's Club for 
four weeks for ungentleman's un- 
gentlemanly behavior in consequence. 
Black as my eyes were, however, I 
was on hand at the breakfast -table 
the following morning, and of course 
Henriette observed my injuries. 

"Why, Bunny!" she cried. "What 
is the meaning of this? Have you 
been fighting?" 

"Oh no, Mrs. Van Raffles," I re- 
turned, sarcastically, " I've just strain- 
ed my eyes reading the divorce news 
from South Dakota." 



Mrs. Raffles 

She gave a sudden start. 

"What do you mean?" she de- 
manded, her face flushing hotly. 

"You know well enough what I 
mean," I retorted, angrily. "Your 
goings on with Colonel Scrappe are 
the talk of the town, and I got these 
eyes in a little discussion of your mat- 
rimonial intentions. That's all." 

"Leave the room instantly!" she 
cried, rising and haughtily pointing to 
the door. "You are insufferable." 

But the color in her cheeks showed 
that I had hit home far harder than 
she was willing to admit. There was 
nothing for me to do but to obey 
meekly, but my blood was up, and in- 
stead of moping in my room I started 
out to see if I could find Constant- 
Scrappe. My love for Henriette was 
too deep to permit of my sitting 
quietly by and seeing another walk 
away with the one truly coveted prize 
of my life, and I was ready on sight 
to take the colonel by the collar 
176 



The Last Adventure 

he was only a governor's-staff colonel 
anyhow, and, consequently no great 
shakes as a fighter and throw him 
into the harbor, but my quest was a 
vain one. He was to be found in 
none of his familiar haunts, and I re- 
turned to Bolivar Lodge. And then 
came the shock. As I approached 
the house I saw the colonel assisting 
Henriette into the motor-car, and in 
response to the chauffeur's " Where to, 
sir," I heard Scrappe reply in an ex- 
cited undertone: 

"To New York and damn the 
speed laws." 

In a moment they had rushed by 
me like the flash of a lightning ex- 
press, and Henriette was gone! 

You must know the rest. The 
papers the next day were full of the 
elopement in high life. They told 
how the Scrappe divorce had been 
granted at five o'clock in the after- 
noon the day before, how Colonel 
Scrappe and Mrs. Van Raffles had 
177 



Mrs. Raffles 

sped to New York in the automobile 
and been quietly married at the Little 
Church Around the Corner, and were 
now sailing down the bay on the 
Hydrostatic, bound for foreign climes. 
They likewise intimated that a very 
attractive lady of more than usual 
effusiveness of manner, whose nuptials 
were expected soon to be published 
for the second time, had gone to a 
sanitarium in Philadelphia to be 
treated for a sudden and overwhelm- 
ing attack of nervous hysteria. 

It was all too true, that tale. Hen- 
riette's final coup had been successful, 
and she had at one stroke stolen her 
landlord, her landlady's husband, and 
her neighbor's fiance. To console me 
she left this note, written on board of 
the steamer and mailed by the pilot. 



ON BOARD THE HYDROSTATIC, 
OFF SANDY HOOK, September 10, 1904. 

DEAR BUNNY, I couldn't help it. The 
minute I saw him I felt that I must have 
178 




MY MISERY IS DEEP BUT I AM BUOYED UP BY ONE 
GREAT HOPE" 



The Last Adventure 

him. It's the most successful haul yet 
and is the last adventure I shall ever have. 
He's worth forty million dollars. I'm 
sorry for you, dear, but it's all in the line 
of business. To console you I have left 
in your name all that we have won to- 
gether in our partnership at Newport 
fourteen millions five hundred and sixty- 
three thousand nine hundred and seventy- 
seven dollars in cash, and about three 
million dollars in jewels, which you must 
negotiate carefully. Good-bye, dear Bun- 
ny, I shall never forget you, and I wish 
you all the happiness in the world. With 
the funds now in your possession why not 
retire go home to England and renew 
your studies for the ministry ? The Church 
is a noble profession. 

Sincerely yours, 
HENRIETTE VAN RAFFLES-SCRAPPE. 

I have gathered together these 
meagre possessions rich in bullion 
value, but meagre in happiness, con- 
sidering all that might have been, 
and to - morrow I sail for London. 
There, following Henriette's advice, I 
shall enter the study of the ministry, 
179 



Mrs. Raffles 

and when I am ordained shall buy a 
living somewhere and settle down to 
the serene existence of the preacher, 
the pastor of a flock of human sheep. 

My misery is deep but I am buoyed 
up by one great hope in every 
thought. 

These Newport marriages are so 
seldom for life that I yet have hope 
that some day Henriette will be re- 
stored to me without its necessarily 
involving any serious accident to her 
husband the colonel. 



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